That’s her sobriety and she’s sticking to it

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Paula Abdul has been asked about her tendency to babble incoherently again, and has come back with the answer that she’s "never been drunk" in her life, again. Are reporters just waiting for her to change her answer? "I have never done recreational drugs," she tells Us Weekly. "Just look at my 20-year career. Tell me someone who is into partying and or doing drugs that could have done that." Two words, Paula: Whit Ney.

Of course, you don’t have to be drunk to be bizarre. You can be high, too. In the article, Paula owns up to having taken prescription painkillers (because she needed them, of course!) and American Idol executive producer offers a telling sound bite: "She certainly doesn’t do social drugs or even drink." And what of the unsocial drugs?

And really, if there isn’t substance dabbling behind Paula’s convoluted metaphors, slurring and overall colorful language, she’s maybe more bizarre than the human mind has the capacity to understand. Really, a drug-fueled freak show is more easily explained, thus more socially acceptable, than a nature-spun freak show.

It’s always possible, of course, that Paula just didn’t understand the question Us asked. This could have been another case of her "answering questions to the wrong answers of those cities." It happens sometimes when you’re on the straight and narrow.

[Us Online]