The Weekly Britney


[Instead of posting on Britney Spears everyday, we save the news for a weekly omnibus post. Because a train wreck looks so much more glorious with some perspective.]

Brit_weekly_1 They tried to make her go to rehab and finally she said yes, yes, yes. As of now, details on Brit’s just-announced rehabilitation stint are scant, but the same can’t be said on the rest of her week. The gory ins-and-outs include allegations of car-vomiting. She showed a rare flash of good judgment when she ditched a hideous red dress she showed up at Club One to party in, but all that was in vain when she changed into an even more hideous multi-colored bikini. Her past caught up with itself when exes Justin Timberlake and Kevin Federline bumped into each other at a Grammy Awards party, and then it caught up with her when former assistant Felicia Culotta dished dirt to a fan site. In Culotta’s letter, she lamented the way Britney’s "life is unfolding," refused to be an "enabler" and then compared herself to a dog ("You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!"). If you really want to get at Britney, FELICIA, try comparing her to the dog next time. Unlike Felicia, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach offered some advice for Britney: "Soon your boys will be surfing the Internet. They’ll see a lot of photos of you in poses that no son should ever see their own mother…Try and be home with your kids…Cover up…Limit the visits to the nightclubs." Any other week, I’d be all, "Rabbi, please," but for a crazy, fleeting second it seemed like she was ready to follow the sage advice. And then we found out that she actually said no, no, no to rehab after she got there and everything made sense once again.

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