Please pardon her appearance while she’s under construction: Britney’s new website is in the works. While she plots a way out of the unmitigated disaster her life has become, the once-great pop idol’s Internet staff has placed an image of a tiger on her site’s homepage, which morphs into Britney. The worst part? The audio, which also morphs – from a guttural Shere Khan growl to a huffle-puffy noise that recalls Tigger suffering an asthma attack.
OK, web-workers, go ahead and laugh at Britney’s expense, but hasn’t she
suffered enough? Wouldn’t it be better to just play something pointed,
like, say, “Eye of the Tiger”? What about “Tiger Lily”? Or how about
“Paper Tiger”? Tell us what song you think would best epitomize
Britney’s comeback. Just don’t say “I Will Survive.” “Man in the
Mirror,” however, is perfectly acceptable.
Unrelated: If you’re into big cats, you might want to check out T.I.G.E.R.S. (The Institute of Greatly Endangered and Rare Species).
In addition to photos of tigers, lions and pumas, the site also
includes a section on ligers (yes, like the beast mentioned in Napolean Dynamite) and audio clips of the animals expressing themselves.