Sanjaya Goes Spanish: ‘Stache & Samba

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Despite the fact that last night’s American Idol had a Latin music theme meant to evoke the spicy side of the contestants and that celebrity mentor Jennifer Lopez was looking smoking hot, the show itself lacked fire. In fact, it wasn’t caliente at all.

As always, the highlight of the show was Sanjaya, who sported a mustache and goatee (the beginnings of a facial ponyhawk?) for the evening. It’s great how all the celeb mentors are completely aware that this kid is about as talented as Seacrest is tall, and how they all sort of guiltily giggle when discussing their mentoring session with him. J. Lo was no exception. She said that Simon and the crowd would be pleasantly surprised at how well he would perform his song, and she was right! It was the first time Sanj didn’t suck. Guess the flamboyance of Latin music suits him. And now he’s covered "Besame Mucho," a tune that evidently both Sammy Davis, Jr and Placebo have done.

As far as the contest goes, Melinda Doolittle, Blake Lewis, and Jordin Sparks seem to be the front runners at this point. Melinda’s challenge last night was to be ultra hot, which she even admitted would be difficult, saying, "I’m so not sexy." She’s right. What can be said is that her voice sounded great, but that’s like setting someone up on a blind date with a girl and being like, "She has a wonderful sense of humor."

Clearly, though, the sexiest person on last night’s show was J.Lo. She looked great, and her giggling and general giddiness to be mentoring the <em>Idol</em> kids was completely endearing. Did anyone else notice that when she was introduced with that little career montage clip show with Ryan Seacrest narrating, "Jennifer Lopez is an unstoppable force with talents that cover all aspects of the entertainment industry," that when he said "talents" there was a prolonged shot of her gyrating ass?

<p>And speaking of asses—ugh, Blake and his stupid beat boxing. He came out during Haley’s mentoring session to provide some percussion as a teaching aide for Jennifer (Lessons that Haley didn’t manage to grasp in her performance, btw.) And just when you thought he couldn’t be more irritating, Blake managed to incorporate his RLS moves into a genre of music that requires one to actually lift his/her feet off the floor when dancing—and on top of that, he was wearing a straw fedora and linen pants, you know, the kind that moms wear when they’re trying to be dressy in the springtime, the kind that get all wrinkled when they sit.</p>

<p>Tune in tonight to see either Phil Stacey or Haley Scarnato get the boot because, well, they’re not Sanjaya. Besame Mucho, y’all.</p>

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