America’s New Attraction: Mt. Rockmore
Proving that there’s no low baby boomers won’t sink to, a rock ’n’ roll theme park is set to open in Myrtle Beach next spring. Called Hard Rock Park (because it’s associated with Hard Rock Café, of course), the 150-acre playground will provide opportunities for 30,000 enthusiasts to ride the music, every single day. Though individual attractions have yet to be announced, we’re all aflutter over here, wondering whether the rides will be able to incorporate rock ’n’ roll’s all-important sex and drugs elements into their design. We shudder to guess at who will be honored with a roller coaster (John Bonham? Bon Scott? Janis Joplin?). We also loathe to speculate whose name will grace the shooting gallery (Courtney Love? 50 Cent? Phil Spector?). Basically, there’s no end to the bad puns we could make here, which is sort of the point. After all, the park already unveiled Mount Rockmore — a 250-ton sand sculpture that features the faces of Elvis, John Lennon, Hendrix and Bob Marley, as its groundbreaking mascot. Way to respect the artists, Hard Rock Park!