Haley Can’t Turn The Beat Around

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Stacey_2

Now is the time of the American Idol season when the results shows seem to drag on fooorrrrrreeevvvveerrrr. With only eight contestants left last night, there are only seven "fill in name here" speeches for Ryan Seacrest to make. It shouldn’t have taken an hour to find out what most of us knew anyway—that Haley Scarnato would be walking those nice legs off the stage, never to return. Her limp version of "Turn The Beat Around" was her death knell.

So, Akon was back this week, because apparently viewers can vote on which chart topper will perform during the results show</a>, enabling us to book the talent!" This is a laugh for two reasons:

The viewers can’t even get the voting for the actual show right, e.g. Sanjaya’s still standing.

John Mayer is on the Hit List. Do they think he’s gonna drop everything—namely, stop feeling up Jessica Simpson in exotic locales around the world—to sing "Waiting on the World to Change?"

So that means there were a total of four performances last night: Akon, Jennifer Lopez, the top 8 singing a Marc Anthony song, and Haley’s exit performance. Oh wait, does the Ford music commercial count as a performance? No? OK.

The little video montages were pretty good last night. The bit with Tony Bennett pretending to be trying out in the initial audition stages of <em>Idol </em>was cute. But the best was just before Jennifer Lopez came on stage, in which there was a pre-taped interview with Sanjaya, creepy smile and all, saying that he was going to try to get J.Lo’s number, without Marc Anthony knowing. Why is that, Sanj? So you can go shopping together?

Next week, the top seven are mentored by country singer Martina McBride. Can you picture Sanj in a 10-gallon hat? Yay!

–Tracie Egan