Halle Berry has revealed that she has sought refuge from the burdens of fame in the virtual security blanket that is the Internet. "I have gone online before in search of anonymity and an attempt to leave celebrity out of it and just have a normal chat," says the actress who’s dabbled in chat rooms. After the jump, we hypothesize how one of these chat sessions might have gone down.
<BerryGL>: nm. just being average-looking and not at all famous.
<BerryGL>: definitely cool. i mean, whood want to be known and luved by millions?
<somed00d>: i would if those millions were all big-boobed hoochies.
<BerryGL>: OMFG! u r bad!
<somed00d>: actually, im really good.
<BerryGL>: i bet!
<somed00d>: where r u?
<BerryGL>: hmmm. well, let’s just say that i’m in a town of non-devils.
<somed00d>: city of angles? so, like la?
<BerryGL>: who do you think is hotter: angelina jolie or halle berry?
<somed00d>: one word:
<BerryGL>: i don’t know what that means.
<BerryGL>: anyway, don’t you think angelina’s kids made her less hot? all that baggage.
<somed00d>: naw, ’cause that’s more people around to grab you a beer if you dont feel like getting off the couch.
<somed00d>: what are you into?
<somed00d>: its an open ended question. im hoping for an open ended answer.
<BerryGL>: oh you!
<BerryGL>: well, put it this way: here’s what I’m not into. I’m not into making sweaty, somewhat disturbing love on a couch in the sweltering south with an older man who may or may not be learning to abandon his racist ways. i am furthermore not into telling said man to, "make me feel good" repeatedly.
<somed00d>: you like short dudes?
<BerryGL>: hold on
<BerryGL>: ok bak. it was my chak’ therapist. i need a realignment
<BerryGL>: i think smog has penetrated my aura
<somed00d>: so you do live in la?
<somed00d>: are you an actress?
<BerryGL>: me? no no no!
<somed00d>: oh good. because something tells me you’d suck at that.