Idol: Give Back Our Two Hours

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You know how every year the Oscars are crammed with gratuitous video montages and irrelevant performances when all you really want to see is the announcement of the winners? Well, last night’s episode of American Idol was a lot like that – except all we really wanted to see was the announcement of the loser.

Seriously though, a duet between Celine Dion and Elvis Presley? Jack Black singing Seal‘s “Kiss From a Rose”? An appearance from Tom, “creator” of Myspace? We didn’t need all that. However, it was nice to see Sanjaya again. It was kind of like being comforted by hearing the familiarity of an old song that used to drive you crazy.

Basically, we all got tricked into watching a star-studded, two-hour telethon
when all we really wanted was to hear the voting results, that all
through Wednesday’s show, was promised to be “shocking.” The couple
hours of altruistic sentiments of charity, warm feelings of
togetherness and helping to heal the world seemed like it was building
up for a HUGE let down for whomever would be sent home. However, it
turns out that the big “shocker” was that no one went home, and that
two people will be bounced next week.

The only real information we learned last night (pop-culture wise) was that Madonna was, like she said, not in Malawi to adopt another child. She was there to film a segment for Idol Gives Back. They actually managed to talk a few celebs into going to Africa to film those little spots, like Carrie Underwood, who sang a version of the Pretenders’ “I’ll Stand By You” to the children in the village. She acted every bit the professional singing sensation, which made one wonder if she was aware that these people had no idea who the hell she is. They don’t have food, let alone TVs or satellite dishes.

Quincy Jones wrote a “We Are the World” type song called “Time to Care” for the event that they Idol kids sang. Seeing as how there were six of them, and they were in matching white suits, the whole performance reeked of the Brady Bunch’s “Time to Change.” Tune in next week to see the carnage when two of the family are killed off the show.

Tracie Egan

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