Sanjaya Malakar, the American Idol reject who just won’t go away already, has revealed something that should come as a shock to those with their five senses in tact: he’s straight. Whatever gets you through the day and/or world, Sandy.

The 17-year-old Sanjayjay says that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "clingy" and that, like most sensitive guys, he’s been misunderstood.

"I got teased in school because people figured I must be gay because I understand women. I think that’s why guys didn’t like me – because I got along with girls so well. When I went up to girls they would give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek like I was their gay friend. But I was the straight guy that understood them."

Harumph.

Sanjadakissthegirlsandmakethemcry clearly understands women — what woman doesn’t love a guy who can sway his hips and hula dance? What girl wouldn’t melt for the body that he can achieve with his hair? Don’t even get me started on those ponytails! And that dainty way he carries himself as he minces about? Enough to drive a woman wild. Move over, Hitachi Magic Wand — Sanjay-uh-uh is in the house and he’s taking requests!

Sanjaya’s words are suspect at best. It sounds like he’s protesting too much. But really, any amount of protest is too much from someone who registers so strongly on the gaydar, he’s got bats confused and flying into walls. Sanjayteanosugar, wait a few more years, after you’ve had some (ahem) experience before you start running your mouth about your sexuality. Or, even better: just shut up already.

More shots (heh) of Sanjaybird getting dumped on sprayed slimed on Nick’s ME:TV below. [People/Image credit: Getty]