Where in the World Isn’t Nicole Richie?

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The five people in the world who actually like Nicole Richie (and aren’t paying attention to her in anticipation of pain, suffering and congestive heart failure) can breathe a sigh of relief: Nicole Richie is not in rehab, says her rep. The statement was released to dismiss reports from Star and National Enquirer that suggested that Nicole is currently seeking treatment for an eating disorder and substance abuse.

Whew! Close one. So Nicole Richie isn’t in rehab. You know where else she probably isn’t?

Nicoler_deepfryer

In a deep fryer. Clogs the pores, and that’s to say nothing of the fat content. A guided tour of more places where Nicole Richie isn’t continues after the jump…

We can say for sure that in addition to rehab and a deep fryer, Nicole Richie most certainly is not…

Nicoler_dressbarn

…at Dress Barn. Also, she is not…

Nicoler_goodchar

…in the audience of a Good Charlotte Show. She wouldn’t be caught dead going into…

Nicoler_groundround

…a Ground Round. Does Ground Round even exist anymore? Oh, and to not get to the Ground Round, she certainly would not take…

Nicoler_ford

…a Ford.

And the final place Nicole Richie isn’t?

Nicoler_bible

In Paris Hilton‘s Bible, keeping her page. If Nicole ever needs work, though, that wouldn’t be a bad gig. The girl, after all, is built like a bookmark.