The Saga of Enrique’s Equipment


Enrique_dingdongSome people think of Enrique Iglesias as primarily a singer. I think of him as primarily a penis-haver. For almost two years, Enrique’s down-below microphone has stuck out in public discourse much more than his music. "Hero" schmero — Enrique proves that if you really want to make an impact, you should talk about your him-hang.

The latest word from Enrique is that he’s "huge," but that’s a recent development. Enrique’s public peen powwow started in October 2005, when he "mock seriously" told a Houston Press reporter: "The next product I’m gonna put my name on is extra-small condoms. I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it’s really embarrassing for people — you know, from experience. Hopefully people won’t be ashamed when I step forward." But it turned out that no one was more ashamed than Enrique.

Though the aforementioned article explicitly indicates Enrique’s joking tone, the small-condoms quote eventually was picked up by websites and blogs as straight news. The ding-dong discourse reached such a pitch that just over a month after Enrique made his small-condoms joke, he felt clarification was necessary. In early December 2005, he was reported as having said that rumors of his underwhelming endowment were "not true and hurtful to me and my girlfriend."

Flash forward to May of this year, when a new quote on the Iglesias impregnator emerged. The U.K.’s never-reliable The Sun reported that Enrique told "a mag": "I’d change my penis if I could. It’s way, way, way too small." And that brings us to today’s damage control that comes in the form of news on Enrique’s "huge" hot dog. "I meant I needed a penis reduction, not an enlargement!" he says. "The people who wrote I had a small willy misunderstood." Funny how that happens.

It seems that Enrique still needs to learn a tenant of effective communication: show don’t tell. Enough talking about it Enrique: put your money where your manhood is and drop trow to settle this once and for all. [Now via Towleroad / Image credit: Getty]

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