Oh No They Didn’t: Friday’s Reviews Rage

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Bijou Phillips
Lauren German in Hostel: Part II

Every week we round up selections from the funniest, most obscene and brutal film criticism out there so that you know when to blow your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: The disgustingly gory, classless and wide-angled critical whipping post Hostel: Part II.

"You live in a free country, you put up with crud like Hostel: Part II. It truly is crud, though. The film is the definition of torture porn." – The Chicago Tribune

"Compared to this Eli Roth fetish video, the Saw films are Oscar bait." – USA Today

"Hostel: Part II will . . . mount you with a rusty, barbed-wire strap-on, and to hell with the Astroglide." - The Austin Chronicle

"[The movie] has naked people of both sexes but a lot of the nudity is intimately connected to heinous forms of death. ‘Blood bath’ takes on a literal meaning." – ReelViews

"If the girls were cool, we might root for them, and if they were Laguna Beach princesses or Melrose Place bitches we might cheer for max carnage. As they are, we are indifferent to their fate. They’re just livestock." – The New York Post