Ask Doc Ali



Scott Baio Is 45…and Single may be all about Scott Baio, but his life coach, Doc Ali, isn’t. In addition to helping Scott sort out his love woes on TV, she’s helping our readers sort out their problems online. If you need some advice on love, life and/or work, drop Doc Ali a line here. And check this spot every week to see if Doc has answered your questions.

After the jump, Doc Ali doles out her first helping of virtual guidance.

OMG! my wedding is in 3 weeks and im starting to stress big time! what should i do? i am super excited about it though. thanks for getting me here…. i owe it all to your work! – Jennie

Doc says: Jennie, Jennie, Jennie, Breathe and Enjoy the process! There will never be another three weeks exactly like these again in your life. Revel in the chaos, laugh a lot, and celebrate your love for family, friends, and your MAN! Love to you during this amazing time! Doc Ali

I am 53 and never married. I am in love with a woman that I have known for over 20 years. We have had an on mainly off relationship. She is the world to me but she does not want a relationship with me. How can I change her?Jeff

Doc says: Jeff, I’m sure this doesn’t surprise you to hear, but you can’t change her. Only you and it’s time to move on. I have to tell you, if it hasn’t happened in 20 years, it ain’t happening. You deserve “happening”. We all do. And by the way, you are not ‘in love’ with her. You just think you are. The problem is you are not loving yourself enough to know that you want a Big Love and will not settle for anything less. Take a risk. Tell her you want a woman who is crazy about you and you are ready to change your attachment to her. You may find that she becomes much more attracted to your strength then your desperate weakness. Doc Ali

Doc Ali,
I have a client that is an incredible man, is 46 and single and loosing faith that he will meet Mrs. Right. He has done a lot of work on himself and is very aware of his behaviors. Do you have any neat exercised for relationship or finding the right one? Thanks Doc Ali – you are great.
- Jane

Doc says: Jane, I would have him follow my create it, trust it, act it, and risk it plan for finding relationships. First, he needs to spend time creating his ideal partner. Have him write her qualities and characteristics out in specific detail. No limits. No holding back. Next, instruct him to write out five beliefs reinforcing that he is deserving of a great relationship. Sayings that reinforce that he trusts his life and that everything is moving according to plan. Things like “I know she is coming to me in perfect timing”. Step three, Act it, is living life as if he already has what he wants. Walking like he’s in love, talking like he’s in love, and loving life with the exuberance of a new perfect crush. You must be in the state of love to attract love. Finally risk it. You can never find love sitting on your couch (unless you have a hot female plumber). Risk it means encouraging your client to put himself in situations to meet the kind of woman he wants and approach her when he sees her. He’s gotta step out if he wants to make out! Good Luck to him. Doc Ali

I got divorced a little while ago and it is taking so long to be able to function. Is there something I can do to move forward and rearrange my life?Lynn

Doc says: Lynn, Be gentle with yourself. Divorce can be a painful process. At the same time, there are things you can do to move the process along. Two important things right now, are to focus on gratitude and create the vision of your new life. Every day, write five things you are grateful for. Your life is so amazing and you have no time to waste. Next, take time to create your vision of where you want to be in 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, and 5 years. Be detailed and specific. Read your vision every day. Breathe in the feelings of it. Step into it’s joy and excitement even if you are taking small steps. Just think thoughts that help you feel a little better whenever you can, and you will heal through this. Trust the reasons behind every situation, even if you don’t understand it in the moment. Doc Ali

I am always getting involved with women without realizing that they are not
right for me. How can I break out of this pattern? –

Doc says: Shecky, your answer is simple. Decide what you want. Be specific with what is negotiable and non-negotiable. Write it down before hand. When it’s a non-negotiable, don’t even go there. Or have the guts and self-esteem to get out as soon as you know. Don’t settle, trust that your woman is out there. Doc Ali

Remember: submit your questions to Doc Ali here.

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