Ask Doc Ali

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Scott Baio Is 45…and Single may be all about Scott Baio, but his life coach, Doc Ali, isn’t. In addition to helping Scott sort out his love woes on TV, she’s helping our readers sort out their problems online. If you need some advice on love, life and/or work, drop Doc Ali a line here. And check this spot every week to see if Doc has answered your questions.

After the jump, Doc Ali continues doling out the virtual guidance.

I’m a 39 year old gay male in a similar situation as Scott, except I want a monogomus relationship. My gay friends say”that’s not possible’. Is it? – Tony

Doc says: It is totally possible Tony! Gay or Straight! Don’t let other people rain on your parade. They are just saying that to deal with their own relationship insecurities. Decide you want a monogamous relationship, state it clearly when you meet people, and you’ll find what you are looking for! Trust me. Doc Ali

Okay hi im 15 years old and im currently dating this girl tori she everything i ever wanted and more but the catch is shes 12 years old and i dont know what to do im still a virgin and i wanna keep it that way but my hormones are really wild and tori’s hormones are nice and calm im actually not ready for sexual intercourse but theres other girls that i can date but i truely do love tori even though shes 12 years old shes really smart funny really beautiful i just dont know can you help me please?
– Jr.

Doc says: Hi Jr. That’s beautiful that you love Tori so much. And you’re right 12 and 15 are both too early to have sexual intercourse, and she’s too young for you right now. So, enjoy your friendship. Share things together but stay non-sexual. I’m so happy you are mature enough to know you are not ready. So again, have fun, do fun things together, hang out with each other’s families, but keep your relationship friends. When you both get older, you can see if you would like to begin dating. Doc Ali

Dearest Ali, I’m 36, and feel like I am in the same shoes as Scott. Been with many women, and don’t want to be 40 and that guy drinking in the bar. The section you did on wrapping him up, made me see what I was. My parents are still together but when I was younger they almost split and it really hurt me emotionally. I was afraid to be left alone. Recently I reconnected through myspace with my first love and told her how sorry I was for cheating on her. I was 21, her 19. She’s since moved on and is married with kids. I pretty much see marriage the way Scott does. The people are tired, busted, I live in Silicone valley, semi pro musician, play all the time, toured and have led a pretty blessed life, I realize, but unlike Scott, I try so very hard to give back to charitiable organizations. I personally have adopted families for X-mas and helpd raise money for breast cancer research with my own music.. I love the way it makes me feel, but more importantly. I want to be that guy… I am learning quite a bit from you and him in this show, but I would like to employee you sometime, if possible. please help and keep up the good work! – Mike

Doc says: Hey Mike, You sound like a wonderful man and are well on your way to creating an amazing relationship. I love how you cleaned it up with your ex, and how much you give back. Marriage does not have to be bondage like Scott thinks. Marriage can be whatever you want it to be. Beautiful, dynamic, sexy, fun, and growing deeper and deeper all the time. Decide that is what you want and that is what you are going to create for yourself. I’ve written this before, but the first step for anyone looking for find that perfect love is to write out what they want in detail. That is your first step. Then decide that she is coming to you, and be on the lookout. Not in a desperate way but simply be open. All the while, keep loving your life, giving your gift with your music and know that your life is moving exactly as it should be. She is coming to you now. You just don’t understand the divine plan just yet. Happy to work with you. Doc Ali

Doc Ali,
I’m divorced now for over 6 years. It was my decision, but I guess hers, because she would not quit with her lies and other things. I have dated many times since and have been on love 3 times, but they wouldn’t commit. One lady said I had commitment phobia, but I know It wasn’t me. I want someone to shre the rest of my life with. I have been told by one of the women that I have anger management issues. I have never hit a lady nor my children and I usually keep things that bother me inside. It takes a lot to ever voice my differences. I want to get another lady in my life. I say lady, because I simply don’t want someone to be with, but someone who wants to be with me and she should treat me like I treat her. I am a gentleman in every way. I always open doors and give flowers for no reason. Thanks.
– Mike

Doc says: Mike, my concern is that you don’t seem to take responsibility for your part in any of these relationships. Take a look at your side of the street. What did you do that contributed to you divorce? Why did one woman say you were a commitment-phobe, and the other say you had anger management issues? There’s gotta be something there. The first advice I would give you is see where these comments are coming from. There are too many things going on, to be coincidences. Do the exercise in video boot camp number one (www.screamandrunnaked.com). Ask three people for feedback and really listen to what they have to say! It takes guts, but it’s worth it! Doc Ali

I’ve been single for a long time now, but it hasn’t been for lack of trying. I’ve had Aspergers’ Syndrome for all of my life…Could there be a connection between my disability and my lack of a love life?
- John

Doc says: John, although there could be a connection, I think it’s important to not define yourself by a “diagnosis”. You are John. Look at what John needs to do to improve his love life…and put yourself out there for practice. I try not to pigeon-hole anyone by a diagnosis, so look at yourself as an individual, get feedback on your strengths and weaknesses, and get out on the proverbial dance floor! The more practice, the better. Doc Ali

Ali,
I thought that you were great! Are you really a life coach or are you an actress? If you are for real – I would love to see you help that NUT Job Brittany Spears~! All we ever hear about is her comeback. Then again, I wish that she would go away forever. Can’t wait for the next episode. I’m so curious to see what he is going to do. They have only been dating a year and a half though is that a good time for a couple to make a commitment?
– Natalie

Doc says: Natalie, Thanks! I am really a life coach, definitely not an actress. My goal in doing this show was to help Scott so that others in the audience would face their fears and take risks as well. It seems like it’s happening! You’re right, Brittany Spears needs to do a Doc Ali Boot Camp. If anyone knows her send her my way! She would be a good next “victim”. To answer your question, at Scott’s age, if he doesn’t know after a year and a half, then there’s something wrong! A year and a half is definitely long enough! Doc Ali

Hi Doc Ali,
I’m glad I heard you on 1047 Kiss FM this week. For the past six months I have been feeling like my life is a dream. Sometimes when I’m driving or even talking to someone this feeling comes across me like I’m not really living. I’m not sure if it is a sign of depression or if it is because my life is at a stand still. I’m feel stuck right now. I have been with my boyfriend for five years and we started to have some problems and I moved out on my own about a year ago. I got a small condo that I really like and I have a great job so I’m not sure why I started feeling this way. I’m still with my boyfriend because he has tried so hard to work on our relationship. Some of the problems started when I moved in with him. He has lived on his own for many years and when I moved in it was an adjustment to both of his. He is really set in his ways with the house so I wasn’t able to decorate or feel a bit like it was my home too. I felt like I was living out of a box. He also had a temper at times and I started to think about moving out when our fights were getting out of hand. Since then he made an appointment to go to couples counseling but we only went once. I feel so confused on what to do. I’m 28 years old and I feel like I may be wasting my time but a part of me wants to work it out. I heard that you had a boat camp the end of July and I would like to get more information. You really inspired me and I hope to get out of this stand still and confusion and move on with my life. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this and for all the people you’ve helped.
– Anita

Doc says: Anita, Feeling like your life is a dream is your psyche yelling out to you…WAKE UP GIRL! SOMETHING AINT RIGHT! Thank God our psyche’s help us out that way. Sounds like you need a fresh start. New Anita. No boyfriend, decorate your condo more, and take some risks in your life. Whatever can give you a little bit of a jolt. Tango classes? Hiking? Internet Dating? Sky Diving? Scream and Run Naked Weekend would be perfect for you. See Screamandrunnaked.com for more information and to set up an interview. Oh by the way….please notice in the middle of my response was…NO BOYFRIEND. ;-) Doc Ali

I went through a break up about a year ago, since then I find it hard to approach women entirely. Is there anything I can try? – Tony

Doc says: You may not like this Tony, but it’s time to step out. Look at it as an experiment. I want you to get on an internet dating site and begin to “practice date”. Date just to date. Date all types of women. Tell them you are just practicing. Let go of any expectation of finding “the right one” or even a second date. Just date. Think of it as training wheels again! Have fun! Doc Ali

In a holding pattern here….help! – Leigh

Doc says: Holding patterns are boring and lead to nowhere. CHANGE DIRECTION! Doc Ali

Hey Doc, Love your no nonsense approach! I’m wondering if you have explored the possibility of sex addiction with Scott.Thanks. – Patty

Doc says: Patty, Stay tuned. You are a smart cookie! Doc Ali

Hello, Ms. Ali. I watched Scott’s show for the first time today. Watching the show was like looking in a mirror, only I am not rich. I have had major relationship issues and sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with me. Lately I have just tried not to think about it and put my focus on things that I DO want in my life. I will keep this simple and just ask, what do you think? – Dan

Doc says: Love it Dan! Focus on what you want. Create it vividly, and step into the person and life you want. Doc Ali

My girlfriend and I just broke up. I don’t understand why though. I have spent many years chasing women and enjoying the single life. Then I came across her and stayed single while dating her for a couple of years. Then I decided she would be the one. Why can’t I commit my life to her? – Eric

Doc says: Eric, forget WHY? Who cares about WHY? Just do it! You think she’s the one? Run over to her house right now with a big bouquet of flowers and say, “I’m ready baby, let’s do it!” Invite me to the wedding. Doc Ali

Remember: submit your questions to Doc Ali here.