Congratulations, Chris Rock!



Just when you’d totally forgotten about that wacko paternity case that Chris Rock found himself embroiled in earlier this year, the DNA test results are in! And Chris is cleared! He and his wife, Malaak, have released a statement on the matter:

Last week it was concluded through DNA testing that Chris is not the father of [Kali] Bowyer’s son. We have spent a tremendous sum to litigate this case and are asking our attorney to pursue all legal remedies against her. Additionally, we would like for any monies Ms. Bowyer has taken from the tabloid media based on this false story to be donated to Bulloch County, GA charities for the benefit of disadvantaged boys and girls.

Yeah, that’ll happen the minute they can wrestle Kali away from the diaper aisle, where she’s hobbing with that astronaut lady. But for real: congrats, Chris! May your sperm, or lack thereof, continue to smile good fortune upon you. []

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