Is it us, or do Lindsay’s rehab spots just keep getting cushier? All the treatment places she holes up in – Wonderland, Promises – sound more like daycare centers than a place for adults to kick addictions. Now she’s apparently up for round three at the Cirque Lodge, which judging from pics, looks like a five star wilderness palace. A stint at this joint supposedly starts at $30,000 and boasts in-room jacuzzis and fireplaces, horseback riding, massage, and hydro therapy, and of course, a hair salon with manicures. So she can repair the nails she once used to cut up coke with, presumably. Here’s what a day in the life of re-rehabbing Lilo must look like:
12 PM: Wake up.
2 PM: Wake up for real.
2:15 PM: Order an omelet of quail eggs, fresh goat’s cheese, hand picked basil and gold flakes from room service.
3:00 PM: Pet a horse.
3:05 PM: Get manicure and massage to rid body of horse smell.
4:00 PM: Make an “I Hate Paris Hilton” collage in art therapy class from old Us Weekly magazines.
5: 00 PM: Group therapy shopping spree.
7:00 PM: Pick a buffalo out on the horizon, have chef hunt it for dinner.
7:45 PM: Yell at chef because the buffalo isn’t tender enough, god damn it.
7:46 PM: Lick plate clean.
8:30 PM: Jacuzzi party!
9:00 PM: In bed in time for So You Think You Can Dance.
Click the thumbnails below to see them full size.