Britney Sleeps with Women, Hates Her Kids

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If you’re in Britney overload, don’t worry – we feel your pain like a bad set of hair extenstions. She’s on the cover of practically every gossip magazine this week and according to the tabloids is doing everything from hitting on Jenna Jameson to guzzling Jameson in front of her kids. If you’re keeping tabs, here’s a list of all the Brit rumors circulating this morning.

  • Britney and her ex-assistant Shannon Funk (recently subpoenaed by K-Fed) are/were lesbian lovers
  • Brit asked nannies to sleep in her bed with her and her baby
  • She drinks to loosen up and boozes until she ends up drunk in front of her kids
  • Stripping in front of visitors and nannies is a daily habit
  • The mom of two has told her kids they were mistakes. Sadly they’re too young to understand what the hell she said, especially because her speech was most likely slurred.
  • The starlet is planning a performance comeback at the MTV VMAs next month.
  • Brit is applying to be on Flavor of Love 3. Yeah, we’re just kidding, but wouldn’t that be so effing awesome?! Her Flav name would probably be something like CrazzeeMamma or Weaviee.

[DListed, OK!, Popbytes, NY Daily News, Us Weekly, Life&Style.]

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