Maybe it’s just his attraction spells working on us, but after Episode 3 we’ve crowned the adorably droopy Joe D. our Pick Up Artist of the Week. The chubby shy guy wowed the four-year olds in the Reward Challenge with his passionate storytelling and was robbed of the win by the pandering, manipulative Pradeep. He also impressed us with his attractions skills at the bar, using tattoo talk to work the ladies. Joe W. may have won the challenge, but Joe D. won our hearts. He can demonstrate his high value on us any day.Find out what happened with the rest of the lovable nerd herd after the jump!
After Spoon’s sad departure, Mystery phones the guys to request their presence at their Reward Challenge. They gather in a library where Mystery waxes poetic about the seductive power of stories. “The best stories,” Mystery says, “are told with passion and excitement.” Do you think Mystery would like it if we spoke with passion about how lame it is to wear goggles and headphones as accessories?
The guys must then “excite, delight and entertain” a group of squealing little girls with their rendition of the classic tale, “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” Allowing highly socially awkward grown men around a group of six-year-olds might sound illegal, but it’s a recipe for hilarity. Pradeep skips the story all together and instead invites all the girls to sit on his lap. In most states this move would be illegal – good thing they’re in Texas! In the end he wins by cheating, which seems to be the only way he can stay in the game. His prize is a one-on-one lesson with M to learn a top-secret “gambit.” When Mystery later reveals his secret move we learn that it is just some creepy mack involving a fake “spell” one can use on a lady. Because chicks really dig magic.
The following day the guys gather for their lesson on “attraction,” where they learn to demonstrate their higher value, or “DHV.” As Mystery says, it’s all about “faking rapport with people you do not yet know.” They test out their skills later that night at the bar and almost all of the dudes are duds. Only The Joes come out on top and complete sets. The rest of the crew succeed in making every girl in the bar uncomfortable with their awkward openers and boring tales of furniture sales. Pradeep tries his lap move again, this time by sitting himself on top of Fred. Again, he totally sucks.
In the end Joe W. saves Pradeep’s ass with a medallion ( WHY, Joe?!) and Fred, decked out in giant pants and a newsies cap, is sent packing. The loser vows to be different with women and leaves happy that the ladies at the bar invited him to sit down with them. “That’s never happened to me before,” he reveals, smiling. For one final time we can’t decide if we feel saddened or creeped out by the pint size 45-year old virgin.
What did YOU think of tonight’s episode?
Were you sad to see Fred go?
Who is your choice for Pick Up Artist of the Week?
Cut this week:
Fallen, but not forgotten.