Ask Doc Ali



Scott Baio Is 45…and Single may be all about Scott Baio, but his life coach, Doc Ali, isn’t. In addition to helping Scott sort out his love woes on TV, she’s helping our readers sort out their problems online. If you need some advice on love, life and/or work, drop Doc Ali a line here. And check this spot every week to see if Doc has answered your questions.

After the jump, Doc Ali continues doling out the virtual guidance.

Please help, I don’t know what to do anymore. My boyfriend is exactly like Scott Baio when he was younger. Running around with all of these females, we have been together for two years now and he just won’t stop cheating. I know I should leave him but for some reason I just can’t…it’s not my self esteem…I know I deserve better but for some stupid reason I just can’t make my feet move and if I do leave I come right back. I just want to know if there is something I could do to stop him from these stupid path. – Tasha

Doc says: Tasha, the one thing you could do to help him is to leave him. He needs to really experience the consequences of his actions which is losing an amazing woman who loves him. Integrity is essential to a healthy relationship. Obviously he has some major self-esteem issues that will follow you in your relationship for a long time. Get out now, Tasha. You can make your feet move and when they do, be sure they are running!

Doc Ali I am a licensed counselor having graduated from Syracuse University with an MSW and am currently in the process of obtaining my certification in personal training. I am interested in becoming a life coach. Any advice you could provide me in pursuing this avenue of work would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! -Vince

Doc says: Hey Vince, simply look up life coach certification programs on line. There are a lot of them and with your MSW certification, that would be a perfect addition for you. Go for it and good luck.

I work in a small town, I’m buying my own home, my pay isn’t comparable to larger cities, and I’m bored stiff. I would like to move back to a large city. I can’t buy a knew home until I sell my present home. Everybody in my town knows everybody. I used to be a “playgirl” so to speak, no one will allow me to change. I’d like to find my “soul-mate”. However here I’d probably die an old maid. Do you think that I should take a “flying leap” and move? -Sandra

Doc says: Sandra, there are two flying leaps you need to take. The first is moving to where your heart desires, the second is to change your victim language! “No one will allow me to change” is a bunch of crap. I know, I know, you are saying that they are judging you and they probably are, but prove them wrong! There is no need to run from your past by moving, but if you really want to move do it. I believe you can create a great life no matter where you are or what you have done in the past. It’s all about deciding it, and stepping into who you are NOW no matter what anyone else says or does. So, listen to your heart. long as you are not running away, but moving for the right reasons.

My Boyfriend of almost 2 years has issues with marriage. He was married before and he is afraid to open up to marriage again. We have spoken about it and he is going to therapy. I have noticed that when he goes to therapy he is worried, negative, moody and we have discussions. When he misses his sessions he seems relaxed, positive and more loving.We deal with life very differently. I have gone thru many things in my life and I just face them positively and just go on forward. He seems to be stuck on past issues. What can I do to help him? Thank you! God Bless. -Susan

Doc says: Susan, we have all been hurt in the past and all need to take risks to move forward. Does he talk openly about his pain and worries from the past? If so, that’s great. If not, encourage him to do so with you. I love your outlook on life and the only thing to do is to model that for him. Remind him that the past is not today and he does not want to live a boring, risk free life. Then, set a boundary. Tell him you want to be working on these issues in couple’s counseling to see if you are really right for each other. Then give it some time, and then, if it’s still no marriage, and you want to be married, you may need to find a new man.

I have been married to a man for over a year. I am afraid that I married him on the rebound from my little girl’s dad. My little girl’s dad was an alcoholic which is why I had left him. He is now sober and has been sober for three years. He is still the love of my life and he is not drinking.I love my husband but I do not love him the way I love my little girl’s father. Thank you. PS. My little girl adores her father and my husband equally. -Trisha

Doc says: Oh Trisha, what a difficult situation. Yes, you may have married on the rebound which is never a good situation. Before you do anything there is an important question to be answered and that is, how does your ex-husband feel about you? Does he still love you too and want to make it work? Is he remarried? I think you need to get all the information you can from your ex. Tell him how you are feeling, watch his responses. Talk about what was going on for him when he was drinking and in your marriage. What were his feelings about the marriage back then as well as now. Then you will know if you need to rock the boat further. Good Luck.

I’m a 33 year old female, with no children, never been married and currently doesn’t have a boyfriend. It’s not that I don’t want one (cause I do), but I don’t know why I’m currently not involved. I see myself as a pretty interesting female, with a lot to offer. I have a great job at a local television station. I’m currently attending college to receive my Masters Degree in Business Management. I’ve had my fair share of relationships/boyfriends. I feel that I’ve hit a “plateau” where I’m not meeting guys the way that I used to. At one time, I was engaged to be married, but didn’t. I’ve always picked guys that were not really right for me. Now that I’ve reached my 30s, I’m wiser as to what type of guys I’m looking for. Why is it so hard for me to meet the right one??? I don’t hide the fact that I have Epilepsy or Asthma. As I watch the show, I feel like I’m Scott sometimes. Can you help me??? -V.

Doc says: V, 33 is the perfect age to put your love life in full throttle. You are much more clear on who you are and what you want which is great. So, let’s turn it on a bit. Here’s a four week plan. Make a decision today that you love yourself, your sensuality, and your wisdom. Don’t worry about the man part yet. Week One: Decide on seven qualities you want to embody every day. Pick one quality each day and make it your focus. Dress the part. Clothes, shoes, lingerie. Week Two: write out seven qualities you want in your perfect man. Then, pick on a week and be that. You attract what you put out, so put it out girl! Week Three: visit at least three places you haven’t been and talk to at least two men there. These need to be places you think your ideal guy might hang out but you haven’t frequented. Be bold, and take risks. Finally, Week Four: Be on the lookout for men that might be interested in you. Be open in all situations, flirt not only with men but with life. Flirting with life means fully engaging with all that’s around you. Keep your eyes open, you may be surprised who shows up.

Remember: submit your questions to Doc Ali here.

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