Ask Doc Ali

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Scott Baio Is 45…and Single may be all about Scott Baio, but his life coach, Doc Ali, isn’t. In addition to helping Scott sort out his love woes on TV, she’s helping our readers sort out their problems online. If you need some advice on love, life and/or work, drop Doc Ali a line here. And check this spot every week to see if Doc has answered your questions.

After the jump, Doc Ali continues doling out the virtual guidance.

My boyfriend is going through some things and he says he want to focus on them and needs to stay out the loop for awhile. What does then mean, is he breaking up with me or just taking care of business. - Katrina

Doc says: Katrina, Hard to tell. But one thing for sure, he needs to go do whatever he is saying he wants to do. Treat it as a time to work on yourself too. Tell him you understand and let him go. Express your feelings but also be sure he knows you’re not waiting around. You know the poem, “if you love something set it free…”? Now is the time to practice it. Doc Ali

Dear Doc Ali: I am feeling stuck in my work life (I was just laid off on 6/1/07). I know I’m far from as wealthy as Scott Baio is but I’m here reaching out to you. I am trying to shift gears in my job search, I want the job that I should have not one that I hate just to pay the billI am also stuck in my personal life not dating and or getting myself out there.I think the job situation ties in with my personal life. I go through bouts of depression, anxiety etc. So I guess what it boils down to Doc Ali is that I want to find the job I should have and find the woman I should have too.I am wiling to do what ever it takes, I will do what ever you suggest.I just hope that this email does reach you directly.Please Help Me. – Anthony

Doc says: Anthony, you’ve got a lot going on! See my video boot camp at www.screamandrunnaked.com that will help you with a week by week process to work through some of these issues. Doc Ali

I may (potentially) need some help. I’m 26, single (obviously) and I identify with Scott Baio maybe little too much. I’ve had a few relationships that I thought might have meant something, but I always kill it in the end. I have an outlook where nobody is ever right for me. I meet girls all the time and have “encounters”, but I kill the relationships pretty fast. Why? I ask myself that question constantly. “Was her ass ‘really’ too flat?” “Was she ‘that’ klingy?” “She’s smarter than that. Right?” What should I do? Shoot me some guidance. – Tip.

Doc says: Tip, you’re still young. BUT, the first thing I would do is a two part practice. Part One: look at the ways you judge yourself as not good enough and be a little less self-critical. We always see others as not enough because we see ourselves as not enough. Part Two: When you are with a woman totally appreciate her. Notice everything you can. Go on a rampage of appreciation in your head. She’s smart, pretty eyes, great smile, good skin, I like her smell. What ever you can find. The first part of your Doc Ali therapy is getting out of what’s missing and getting into appreciation for yourself and others. Then see what changes. Doc Ali

My girlfriend and I dated for a year and a half. It took me awhile to really fall for her but I did. She was very clingy, needy, and obsessive of me. We were totally compatible and perfect together. All she ever said was how much she loved me, wanted to be with me forever, the one, blah blah blah. Then out of no where she broke up with me. We have been broken up for 3 months now and she’s come back to me 3-4 different times but eventually goes away again. Words have been exchanged and now she won’t even talk to me. I’m going crazy! Why did she keep going back and forth? How could she stop talking to me altogether? What do I do about all this and how do I move on with my life? I really do love her! - Tony G.

Doc says: Tony, sounds like your ex has really low self-esteem. You didn’t want her and now you want her back? Ahhh…the typical insanity of relationships. Tony, BE DONE. If it hasn’t worked so far, trust me, it aint it! Who cares about the “why’s” just get some TDD (time, distance, distraction) and move forward. I have a friend who says, “When it’s a done deal, it’s a done deal” and honey, this is a DONE DEAL! Move through the obsession and hurt and move on,

How soon is too soon to let your ex know that you’re in a new relationship? I broke up with my boyfriend of two years in early July (we’re both 22) and almost immediately started seeing a friend of mine. My ex and I are still great friends and I hope to keep it that way if at all possible, but I don’t know how to let him know that I’m seeing someone new! Please, have you got any advice? – Cassy

Doc says: Hi Cassy, Never. That’s awesome you are great friends with your ex. Keep it that way by keeping the communication open. It will be better in the long run. Share with him how hard it is for you to tell him this, and then just do it. Way to go. You sound very mature. Doc Ali

Would like to be more organized with my life. I waste a lot of time doing nothing. I use to entertain a lot but now I fear doing it. Please help me. – Lisa

Doc says: Lisa, make lists and have the discipline to do them. Life isn’t always easy and discipline is doing the things you know are good for you whether you like it or not! Hard but true. Doing nothing is ok sometimes, but try this. Whenever you find yourself doing nothing get up and jump up and down 10 times, brush your teeth, and sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs. Then after you feel like a fool doing that, decide what you want to do and do it! Why fear entertaining? Create something fun. Something you’re excited about and simply invite three of your closest friends. Start small and work back into what you used to do.

Remember: submit your questions to Doc Ali here.

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