Each week we gather the kookiest crap to come down the pike: seems like some stars will say anything. This week’s culprits include a beauty queen, a couple of singers, and a former cokehead. Only the best for you, dear readers!

“I personally believe the U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa or should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us.” - Miss Teen South Carolina, when asked in the Miss Teen USA pageant why 1/5 of all Americans can’t find our country on a map. [Vh1]

‘I’m right as rain, love you dad’.” – Amy Winehouse (currently vacationing in St. Lucia) in a text message to her father after he asked if she was okay following her latest drugged up debacle. [DListed]

“I’ll give you a tape - a video confession - of someone who came up to me and said, ‘Michael, I know for a fact that Dina does cocaine because I delivered it to the house to her.’ That’s recently, about six months ago, how’s that?…You know, Dina’s had six DUIs, has had car crashes and left the scene, had someone else pick up and drive, but you know what it all catches up. I can prove it, Nothing I’ve ever said has EVER been proven to be a lie.” – Lindsay Lohan’s dad Michael to blogger Perez Hilton, speaking about his ex-wife Dina. [PerezHilton]

“American girls are sluts too.” - Smashing Pumpkin’s singer Billy Corgan, commenting on the scantily clad audience members at a British music festival [NME]

What I did was very immature, so that means I need to grow up.” –Michael Vick, in a statement following his guilty plea for dogfighting charges. [ESPN]

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