Owen Wilson: Buying a Sober Friend
Everyone’s favorite suicidal funny-man Owen Wilson has apparently hired a “$750-a-day sober companion” to help him stay on the wagon. Wilson’s already been to rehab twice and doesn’t feel like going back, even though he probably needs it as badly as Paris needs some dignity.
This sounds like a super fun gig but we’re already tied up. So who’s available?
- Nicole Richie: They can go shopping for baby clothes and discuss smack addiction in between yoga sessions!
- Dina Lohan: She was a great help to Lindsay, why not let her enable someone else?!
- Kanye West: He canceled his entire promo tour, so what else is he gonna do?
- Kate Hudson: What’s better than an ex-girlfriend to take your mind off of your addiction problems. Plus that gal is just totally adorable. Kinda makes you feel like stayin’ clean, doesn’t she? [Yeeeah! Images: Getty]
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