If you have two eyes and watched Britney move around on the VMAs stage like a tired raver trying to dance at 10AM after a night of hardcore clubbing, you’ll know that there really is no conspiracy involving her crappy performance. Britney straight up sucked it, but the excuses and stories keep pouring in placing the blame for Brit’s disaster on anyone and anything. We break ‘em down below, and all they really prove is that Brit is still a sloppy mess with ratty hair.
The Boot Heel:
Theory – Britney’s boot heel snapped at the beginning of the performance (check out the video “proving” this theory above).
Response - Maybe, but a broken boot heel doesn’t put a glazed look in one’s eye.
Theory - Ken Paves – Jessica Simpson’s elfish hair stylist – was supposed to do Brit’s mane but quit at the last minute, after Brit was difficult to work with. So the singer supposedly styled her own hair with extensions from Jessica Simpson’s Hair-U-Wear line.
Response – So that’s why her hair looked so cheap! It’ still no excuse for forgetting how to lipsynch.
The Fat Pig:
Theory - MTV wanted Britney to wear a “form-flattering corset,” but Brit opted for that bikini number instead. Shortly before the show, she had an epiphany: She no longer has the body of a teenager.
Response - This doesn’t explain her failure on-stage, but maybe why she supposedly cried ‘Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!’ as she ran off-stage after her flop. Brit – for the record, you may have sucked, but you looked nice n’ healthy in that fugly bikini.
[Video via DListed]