Britney May Lose Her Babies & Her Mind

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Things that would make any normal 25-year old twice divorced mother-of-two millionaire with crappy hair extensions go crazy:

  1. Your whale of an ex-bodyguard (who you allegedly fired when he didn’t hear you command him to retrieve a hat) coming forward to accuse you of doing drugs and prancing around naked in front of your kids (Mad props to Brit if she does both of these at the same time – that’s so “Jim Morrison cool!”)
  2. Your longtime lawyer and short-time manager quitting on the same day. Cuz your custody battles sucks as much as your career.
  3. Temporarily losing custody of your children. It’s only fun to party when they’re at the mansion with you!
  4. Being showed up by a guy in a cheap wig and control top panties (see boy Britney in the vid above) who performs your VMAs routine better than you did – and looks hotter while doing so. Ouchtastic.

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