Boooooo. This week’s episode of The Hills was just a “Cram Session” of the season thus far with 2 clips of never before seen footage thrown in to entice us uber-fans. Seeing as we already know what happened and the new footage was dumber than Spencer, let’s talk about what really matters – Jen Bunney and Heidi’s (allegedly) new noses. Whose do you think looks better – and faker?
Seeing as MTV totally sold us out with no new episode this week, let’s look at a couple of the things we so love about The Hills.
1. Lauren’s inability to handle her liquor.
2.The fact that Whitney, the prettiest girl on the show, makes some of the ugliest faces – almost always in reaction to Lauren’s lame stories.
Why won’t Lauren shut the eff up about her ex-boyfriends? We’ve got jeans to steam!
3. There’s a reason these clips were….
There were too effing boring to air in any regular sort of episode.
4. Elodie confirms that Heidi is a backstabbing, unqualified douche who just wanted an office with walls upon which to hang pictures of this monster :
Poor Elodie. Still she’s, like, sooooo shocked (and drunk?) about Heidi backstabbing her for “just business.”
And our girl E has the best line of the show thus far:
Waddup ya’ll! Heidi Montag is in the f***ing office, b*tches!!!
5. Finally, we learned that – thanks to that AMAZING unseen footage – Spencer is not only an asshole, but he is dumber than token hot dumb guy Brody Jenner.
Brody: Horses don’t eat meat, dude. They aren’t going to eat you.
Spencer: I’m dumb! I’m amped about how dumb I am, dude!
Brody: You’re just playing to the camera though, right?
Spencer: Yeah. But honestly, I am still really really stupid, brah. Brah-dy Jenn-Brah. Er.
Don’t worry Hills fans. Things should get back to normal with next week’s episode, where all of Lauren’s frenemies blame each other for starting the sex tape rumor. Our hunch – it was LO!
[All Images: MTV]
The Hills’ Lauren & Audrina Strip Down