The Hills: Heidi’s in the Effing Office, Ya’ll!

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Boooooo. This week’s episode of The Hills was just a “Cram Session” of the season thus far with 2 clips of never before seen footage thrown in to entice us uber-fans. Seeing as we already know what happened and the new footage was dumber than Spencer, let’s talk about what really matters – Jen Bunney and Heidi’s (allegedly) new noses. Whose do you think looks better – and faker?

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Seeing as MTV totally sold us out with no new episode this week, let’s look at a couple of the things we so love about The Hills.

1. Lauren’s inability to handle her liquor.

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2.The fact that Whitney, the prettiest girl on the show, makes some of the ugliest faces – almost always in reaction to Lauren’s lame stories.

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Why won’t Lauren shut the eff up about her ex-boyfriends? We’ve got jeans to steam!

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3. There’s a reason these clips were….

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There were too effing boring to air in any regular sort of episode.

4. Elodie confirms that Heidi is a backstabbing, unqualified douche who just wanted an office with walls upon which to hang pictures of this monster :

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Poor Elodie. Still she’s, like, sooooo shocked (and drunk?) about Heidi backstabbing her for “just business.”

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And our girl E has the best line of the show thus far:

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Waddup ya’ll! Heidi Montag is in the f***ing office, b*tches!!!

5. Finally, we learned that – thanks to that AMAZING unseen footage – Spencer is not only an asshole, but he is dumber than token hot dumb guy Brody Jenner.

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Brody: Horses don’t eat meat, dude. They aren’t going to eat you.
Spencer: I’m dumb! I’m amped about how dumb I am, dude!
Brody: You’re just playing to the camera though, right?
Spencer: Yeah. But honestly, I am still really really stupid, brah. Brah-dy Jenn-Brah. Er.

Don’t worry Hills fans. Things should get back to normal with next week’s episode, where all of Lauren’s frenemies blame each other for starting the sex tape rumor. Our hunch – it was LO!

[All Images: MTV]

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