The Salt-N-Pepa Show Recap – Episode 3 – Keep It Movin’

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When Pep crashes at Salt’s house, she brings…

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…numerous boxes…

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…a naughty portrait…

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…and her own symbolism. See, with Pep, you never know what you’re going to get: every encounter is a crap shoot.

So far, Salt-N-Pepa’s road to reconciliation has been relatively smooth. I mean, they’re not moving in together or anything…

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…oh wait, yes they are. Pep’s house is getting renovated and a new place that she’s buying in the city isn’t quite ready yet. Pep drops the bombshell while Salt and Gavin are shopping for…

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…melons? Weird. Anyway, there’s more melons to be ogled, but first, Pep has to move in:

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Pep’s staying for only three days, supposedly, but it looks like she’s packed everything she owns. Before you can say, “Make yourself at home…”

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…she already has. What better way to announce your appreciation for being allowed to stay in a place than to strew your ladythings about? Really: Pep is the gift that keeps on giving.

And giving and giving.

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At first, it’s unclear why Pep would need to bring a giant painting to a house that she’s staying at for only three nights. And then we see it…

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…and realize that this portrait of a topless Pep is clearly for our entertainment. She needed to bring it, yes indeed, if, for nothing else: our benefit. Told you there’d be more melons!

The boobs distress Salt.

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“It’s actually a very pretty picture, but…” she sighs. Even if you find her prudishness to be unnecessary, you gotta give it up for the fact that Salt isn’t one to sit on the steps and complain.

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She actually does stuff about the things that bother her.

Take for example when Gavin, his boys and Pep decide to play a rowdy game of Dominoes.

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Salt takes no shorts when it comes to calling out their loudness.

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“Tell Sandy to calm down. I hear her big mouth the most,” she tells Gavin. Ha!

When Sandy and the boys don’t calm down and launch into a rowdier game of Cee-lo, Salt confronts the problem head-on:

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“Y’all really buggin’,” she says. You know, if you’re gonna get scolded, that’s the way to get scolded. I wish my mom yelled at me like that.

It does little, by the way, to deter Pep from her rampant gambling:

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Because really, if you’re going to stay over someone’s house, why not try to make a little money while you’re at it. That way, you’re living rent-free and making bank.

The next day brings a mess from Pep…

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…and a singing lesson for her daughter, Egypt:

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Pep’s out so Salt must facilitate this. The best thing about it is that when Egypt comes bounding down the stairs, Salt’s response is, “That’s an interesting outfit.” And so it is.

Oh, and more of Pep’s stuff comes. And by “stuff,” I mean “plant life.”

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Love that Salt’s fretting amongst the flora. It’s like she’s in her natural habitat and she’s pissed.

Pep’s in a fruitless meeting with the interior designer of her new apartment all day, while Salt tries desperately to get in touch with her. Toward the end of the day, Salt discovers that the reason she couldn’t connect with Pep is that Pep’s cell phone has been left at the house.

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To be fair, it’s probably safer there than under Pep’s tutelage. You never know where that phone might end up!

Pep eventually comes home and, of course, sets off the alarm…

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It’s sort of shocking that she didn’t step on Salt’s dog when she was at it. Anyway, it’s obvious that she’s sort of terrorizing the house with her very presence. She talks to Salt the next day during a solo yoga session…

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She pledges to clean up her act and says that she even might stop by Salt’s prayer circle today. Salt’s all, “No really, don’t put yourself out,” gently attempting to dissuade Pep, but Pep will have none of it. The only thing that’s missing from this episode is Salt shaking her fist like Mr. Spacely and yelling, “Pe-paaaaaaaa!”

Since there are ladies of God coming over, Pep attempts to do the right thing by turning around the portrait of her nude bosom.

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The problem? She turns it around in front of a window.

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As one of the prayer ladies arrives, you can hear her saying, “Is that a nipple?” It just wouldn’t be Christian to dignify that with an answer.

The meeting starts. Salt leads it, of course. She draws on personal experience for their discussion topics, which means that today’s prayer meeting is a thinly veiled therapy session on dealing with Pep.

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Pep catches wind of Salt’s topics (listening, honesty), because really, she’s not dumb.

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She totally interjects, defending her listening skills and deeming Salt “too honest.”

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Salt protests the way Pep’s taking everything that she says personally — Salt says that this isn’t about her. She’s right: it’s about her and Pepa. Eventually, Pep joins in the circle and they all have a nice chat about admitting that you’re wrong. I’m not sure how this will make Pep a better house guest, but at least maybe she won’t be so indignant in the future. The prayer circle ends with an impromptu rendition of Salt-N-Pepa’s classic “Expression.”

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That‘s the kind of prayer circle I want to be a part of. Can I come next time, guys?

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