We can’t get enough of Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears (we have a soft spot for fake hair and fake butts), so needless to say we’ve been marveling at the dumb things they’ve both said recently that will surely come back to bite them in the ass (not that Kim needs the help). For starters, Kardashian claimed in July that her Playboy spread would “not be a nude pictorial.” She also promised that “it would be tasteful like Mariah Carey,” which is an obvious oxymoron, right? Turns out the pics rank as super classy on the Mimi scale, as they are fabulously trashy and totally nude! Oh Kim, why bother lying? We can still see all your lady-bits even through the pearl necklaces you’ve hung all over yourself. Tasteful indeed.

Meanwhile, Ryan Seacrest woke up Britney Spears at 9AM this morning to do an interview in which she proceeded to make zero sense answering questions about her kids: “my lawyers know all that;” and celebrating her new record: “we watched movies…and we had fried chicken.” Britney, who was particularly out of it (it was early, we guess) hops off the phone in the middle of the interview to go take a shower. Obviously. She does whatever she wants, even when it makes no sense. Luckily, her hanger-on pal Sam told Ryan the interview was the only thing they were doing to promote the album. It’s a good thing she’s freed up her schedule to do nothing! It’s kinda what she does best. [Images: Getty]