Mrs. Tom Cruise ran the New York City Marathon this weekend, finishing the race in 5 hours, 29 minutes and 58 seconds. Impressive! She may have come in 34,195th place, but she’s first place in Tommy’s heart, who noted that his wife’s strength was “amazing.” What’s more amazing are Katie’s strange running habits that seem to signal to us that she’s not quite human - or maybe, she’s more than human?

Exhibit #1:  Katie appears to have run 26.2 miles without a bra. Ouch! The only people who are supposed to do this are men, Katie. Or, women who feel no pain. Robot women, perhaps?

Exhibit #2:  Katie also ran her marathon in pants. Long black cotton pants. That chafe. In warm weather. Super human Lance Armstrong and friends wore running shorts, but non-humans can wear whatever they want, it seems!

Exhibit #3:  Just hours after finishing the marathon, Katie was out on the town - in heels! - escorting her hubby to the premiere of his new film. Most people are in bed, passed out, or making out with a plate of spaghetti after running a marathon. Not Katie! She can do anything - because she’s not like most people. She’s not a person at all.