Jack hires a character actor Jarod (David Schwimmer) to play the network’s pro-ecology superhero, Greenzo. Kenneth‘s usually dreary annual party is juiced by a swirl of celeb-invitee rumours begun by Tracy. Pete is schtupping his estranged wife Paula in Liz‘s apartment (using Pop Tarts as boudoir toys). Al Gore stops by to see if he can help the green campaign. Hit the comments section if you plan to be involved in any “foxy boxing” this weekend.
Jack: We’re going green, Lemon. And do you know why?
Liz: To save the Earth?
Jack: So we can drain the remainder of its resources. Don Geist is a genius. He’s pitting all the divisions of the company against each other, to see who can make the most money from this environmentalism trend, and i am going to win with…
Jarod: Greenzo! Saving the Earth while maintaining profitability!
Jack: That’s right Jarod, Greenzo is the first non-judgemental, business-friendly environmental advocate.
Jarod: The free market will solve global warming…if that even exists.
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Jarod: I haven’t worked in while. My last real job was an ad for Rick Lazio’s Senate campaign. (“Hillary Clinton wants an all homosexual army – how will that effect my family?”).
Jack: Well, thankfully those days are behind you. Your billboard’s going up in Times Square, you’re releasing an endangered falcon during halftime at the Knicks game, and you’re booked on The Today Show.
Jarod: Oh wow, The Today Show! I just wish my mom was still alive…so I could rub it in her fat face.
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Kenneth: Ms Lemon, Mr. Donaghy. I am but a poor pig-farmer’s son, but I would be honored if you’d come to a party at my home.
Liz: Fine, I’ll come.
Kenneth: Super! Mr D?
Jack: Uh, no. I could make up some excuse, Kenneth, but I have too much respect for you. During your party I will be at home listening to Schubert, and, ironically, viewing some Canadian pornography.
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Liz: What’s that smell?
Pete: That is the body spray that came with my new leather jacket.
Liz: Oh my god, are you having an affair?
Pete: What? No, why would you say that?
Liz: Because you’re acting all happy and full of life.
Pete: Liz, you’re crazy.
Liz: Yeah, and you’re married. Remember Pete? Your beautiful wife Paula, and your sons Robert and Jack, and that creepy little one who’s always rubbing himself against the carpet
Pete: Liz, I’m not cheating on Paula!
Liz: You better not be (sniffs herself). Urgh! Great, now I smell like mid-life crisis, too.
