Hey President Bush - we have a nomination for the Supreme Court or Attorney General or the House of Smarties (we know you have one dude, come on). It’s America’s sweet-heart sweet-ho, Kim Kardashian. As we’re sure you know, the second half of a sex tape featuring Kim and singer/Brandy brother Ray J is about to be released, and last week a voicemail message left for Ray J from his former lover was released. In it, Kim is pissed off to the extreme and even ends the thing in a bizarre, ‘I’m about to get murdered’ scream. Amazing.

Turns out, the voicemail is allegedly a fake - staged! - by Ray J and the Dashster. You could kind of tell by the way Kim uses her bedroom voice to tell him over and over how “disgusting” and “desperate” he is. But still, how smart is Kim?! This bag-o-brains is solely responsible for her leap onto the D List. Have you ever seen anyone maneuver a “career” so expertly? Give her five years and she’ll really be on the rise, dating Corey Haim and winning Dancing With the Stars. If you don’t believe us that she’s on her way, think again - her reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians just got picked up for a second season. More drunk driving, stripper shoes and underage pole dancing - hurray!

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