Tiny Girl, Big Voice, Bad Dance Moves
Dear little dancing girl who loves to sing the Backstreet Boys in an off-key voice while waving her hands like she just don’t care what rhythm is,
Hey there. We are a lot older than you and therefore smarter by default (and thanks to some mortifying life experiences). Here is some sage advice: turn off the webcam. Place it into a pillowcase, along with your glasses, stripped sweater and computer. Get in your parents’ car (this is totally fine), drive to the closet lake (we’re guessing Erie), steal a boat (again, acceptable in this situation) and drive it out into the middle of the lake. Now dump everything in the water, make sure it falls far away to the bottom, turn around, drive the boat and car home, and never look back.
PS: Watch your language!
PPS: We love you.
[via BWE]
