Finally, Tila Tequila, you’ve granted our wishes. How we’ve longed to speak with you! In our first installment of the heavenly conversation we enjoyed with you, we discussed a variety of matters pertinent to your television spectacle: eating bull penis, Michael’s testicle-waxing excursion, and why innocent youngsters don’t move at your speed. Fascinating, Tila. We look forward to hearing from you again, next Tuesday. In the meantime, consider us smitten. Interview after the jump.
VH1: First off, happy belated birthday.
Tila Tequila: Very belated, but thanks.
VH1: We wrote a little post about not getting our invite to your party — we made it sound like we were hurt.
TT: Hey, you could have come. I posted that invite on my MySpace page for, like, 25 million people. They didn’t all show up [laughs]. It was a good time, dancing with my friends.
VH1: Let’s talk about the show. How much involvement did you have in planning the challenges?
TT: A lot of it was decided between me and the producers. I planned more of the earlier competitions. Some of the cornier ones, I didn’t have anything to do with, but they were so funny, I was like, OK, whatever. At first I started off easy, like making the boys wear high heels. It’s something that every woman has to do, and I thought that would be a fun way to start off the battle of the sexes, by having the boys do that and having the girls do push-ups. Everyone was just getting to know each other, so I thought it was better to start them off easy, just to see who was interested and who wasn’t, before things got harder.
VH1: In the last episode, you asked your suitors to eat a bull penis. That’s some other-level, Fear Factor-style stuff.
TT: Hilarious! I thought that was too funny — but then, I’m not the one who had to eat penis. It was a weird position to be in because I was supposed to be all serious, judging everyone, but when you’ve got a contest like that, it’s almost impossible not to laugh. Just looking at them when they were trying to eat that stuff was enough to make you crack up. The expressions on their faces were hilarious, man.
VH1: Was that the grossest challenge so far?
TT: Yes. Eating the cock and balls was revolting. I don’t know if you could see it, but those things were fresh. They still had little pubic hairs in them. Bobby really stepped it up for that one, eating the penis and the pubes. That’s why he got his reward in the hot tub later.
VH1: They really had to want to win. I can’t imaging scarfing that stuff down otherwise.
TT: Well, there was a lot of money at stake, plus a shot at love with me. As the show went on, things got more and more tense in the house. They really showed how much they wanted me.
VH1: That’s true, but you did only have one rule — no touching anyone who isn’t Tila Tequila. It looked like they couldn’t even follow that simple instruction.
TT: When that went down, I was actually really mad. I couldn’t believe what Domenico was telling me about Steven and Rebecca. I was laying it all out on the line, and they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. It was kind of emotional. Domenico was like demonstrating what was going on in the bed, and it sounded like he was fingering her [laughs].
VH1: In terms of what actually went down, you weren’t aware of all the drama?
TT: Basically, anytime you don’t see me on-screen, I’m not aware of what was happening. I was really separated, locked in my bedroom upstairs. I had to get up earlier than all of the contestants to get things ready, and I needed my beauty sleep.
VH1: So you didn’t know, say, about the fight brewing between Vanessa and Bobby?
TT: That I actually did know about, because I could hear what was happening, even through my locked door. That was loud. At first I was blaming Bobby, but later, when I heard about what was going on with Vanessa trying to sleep with him, I couldn’t believe it.
VH1: When you first got to the house, who were you most attracted to? Why?
TT: Sara had a hot body, so I immediately noticed her. I also thought that Eddie was really, really good looking. He was so sweet, but he was a virgin, and he really seemed scared of me. That wasn’t what I was looking for. You don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who’s scared of you. I need somebody who’s on my level or it’s not going to work. You can’t have a conversation with someone who’s intimidated by you all the time.
VH1: So that was the reasoning behind asking Michael and Ashli to leave, too?
TT: Yes. I know that some people take a lot of pride in taking people’s virginities, but not me. It’s too messy. They get so clingy, and then I know I’d just wind up breaking their hearts. Ashli seemed so young and like she didn’t know what she wanted. And Michael was awesome, but he was way too much of a momma’s boy. I think he left the house with a lot more confidence and I have no doubt he’ll be able to find someone. But he wasn’t for me. He needs to cut those purse-strings, man.
VH1: You thought that, even after he “man’d up” and waxed his testicles for you? In front of everyone?
TT: He did it in front of everyone, yeah. [Sighs] He definitely man’d up on that challenge. That was disgusting.
VH1: What did you think when it was happening?
TT: Like I said on the show, it looked like a vagina! [Laughs]
Check back next Tuesday for the second installment of our interview with Tila Tequila.
Tila Tequila, “Let Them Eat Penis” (Ep. 6 Recap)
Tila Tequila, We Need To Talk (Ep. 5 Recap)
Tila Tequila: Heaven on the Installment Plan (Ep. 4 Recap)
Tila Tequila, You Are This Week’s Most Improved Player (Ep. 3 Recap)
Enough, Tila Tequila. Enough (Ep. 2 Recap)
Our Disappointment, Tila Tequila, Is Boundless (Ep. 1 Recap)
Tila Tequila Photos