The Hills: Audrina’s Aussie Lip Lock; Is Heidi & Spencer’s Wedding Over?
Ah, poor Lauren. Whatever could be wrong?
Looks like our Hills heroine finally realized that her flapper costume looked a lot sexier on paper than it did on her person. Better luck next Halloween!
This week’s episode of The Hills got back to its roots: stolen glance, bad outfits and lots of saying nothing over meals out. Remind us again why this show is so popular?
Whitney and Lauren, hard at work reading magazines, dish on their Halloween plans and mock the guy Lauren wants to get serious with.
Lauren and Whit decide that Brody and Frankie should show up at LC’s Halloween party as Dumb and Dumber. Spoken like a true woman looking to share her love for a man by bashing him! Turns out, she kind of predicted the future:
The girls (OMG! Jen Bunney is back!) attempt to use their outfits to sex up their looks, but all of them fail miserably:
Especially Lauren:
Black is not a good look for her. Neither is a bob, a headband or a pout. Lauren puts on a sour-puss face when Brody leaves her little house party to go troll for booty at a club. It’s so nice to remember what Lauren’s REAL job is (no, not interning) - sacrificing her self-worth for loser guys.
Kinda like someone else we know!
Heidi confides in Spencer’s sister (uh, WHY?!) that she thinks maybe they should postpone their “wedding,” which should be easy because the only thing that seems to be planned for it is that each will behave like asses in the ceremony.
Spencer’s sister is wearing those same dumb red bracelets that Lauren loves. Can’t they be friends because of their generic fashion taste? At least they have that in common!
Oh - they do have another similar trait. Both girls love to talk about Heidi behind her back! Yes, if Heidi and Spencer don’t walk down the aisle, we’ll have Stephanie to thank, and thank her we will. Here she is breaking the news to Spencer that Heidi’s having cold feet, as Spencer goes to pick up their Save the Date cards.
Hope you can get a refund Spence! Worked with that Vegas hotel room, right?
Audrinda headed out on a second date with her new boy toy, an Aussie with a lip ring that - though it’s totally 2000-ish - we find incredibly sexy. Maybe it’s just the accent. Aside from the fact that he dressed as a sailor for Halloween AND took her out to dinner, we just like that he can formulate a sentence that actually makes sense. It must be a good feeling for her to be with a man who can finally speak her a language.
The next morning, Audrina dons a blueberry on her head and reveals to a nosy Lauren that they kissed - after they shared a plate of sushi. That brings the sexy down quite a bit, eh Mate?
And then we have the highlight of the ep - the return of vag-flashing LO!
And thankfully, she actually has some wise things to say about Lauren’s infatuation with the Brod-ster: that maybe he is similarly confused about their relationship! Lauren just wants Brody to not want to hook up with other girls, which is surely impossible for a fine-looking high roller like this:
But when he asks Lauren for “signs” she passively aggressively tells him that he can do whatever wants. That’s the ticket to a man’s heart, Lauren! Not telling him how you really feel totally makes him want you more.
Also, Brody is a man whore, and enters women into his iPhone with monikers like “Britney Canada Whore.” Surprised? He’s Spencer’s best friend from childhood. That should say something - or everything.
Speaking of - Spencer and Heidi have a wonderful couple’s spat over the wedding that results in Spencer walking out of the apartment.
Is the marriage off? Not if this crazy biotch has anything to say about it!
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