Celebrity Body Disasters: Time to Shape Up!

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jenniferlove.jpgBoth Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Love Hewitt are steaming mad over some recent accusations thrown their way about their less-than-perfect body parts. After pics of J Love in a bikini hit the blogosphere, she took to her blog to tell all the anonymous posters hurling insults at her (and her butt) to eff off. ScarJo is also pissed and preaching, and has issued a statement threatening to sue Us Weekly after they accused her of getting a nose job.

These stars may think that these are minor body infractions, but let’s be honest, lots of celebrities have let themselves go these days. How dare they have regular sized butts or average noses?! Their determination to be just like everyone else is a travesty. Below the jump we lay down the law with some other celebs who need to hit the gym and hop under the knife. If we’re gonna pay $12 to see some star in a movie, we demand airbrushed perfection! ScarJo and Jennifer couldn’t cut it, but there’s gotta be some hope for other celebs. Fix that sh*t!

Angelina better think twice before stepping out of the house with this mole on her face. What does she think she is – normal? Surely there’s some billion-dollar beauty cream that can fry that thing off faster than you can say Beowolf. If she doesn’t adopt a better skin care regimen, we’re going back to Team Aniston.

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A big belly on our watch? No way Nicole! Sure she may be 8 months pregnant, but we wanna some abs on that baby bulge. Tone it up before you pop it out, please. That thing is huge!

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We are not amused with 50 Cents flabby elbows. We’re sure that if they don’t make elbow weights, he could invent them and buy em up himself. Isn’t that what being a star is about?

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Heidi Klum, your old body called and it wants you back! How dare the supermodel walk around all loose and flabby post-baby. We can barely look at her big bones! Her arms are – gasp! – thicker than pencils!

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[Images: Getty]

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  1. guy flaper says:

    i like looking at Jennifer Love Hewitt hot body she is so hot looking after looking at her pictures i need to go to the bath room and clean up the stuff

  2. fons says:

    i hope this article is sarcastic…

    grtz