The Hills Finale: OMG! Lauren, Heidi & Whitney Travel!
Holy shhhhhhhhhhhh*t! We can not stop freaking out! The greatest moment of television happened last night, and we lived through it. Barely. We still can’t decide if our favorite part was Whitney getting in a car to go to the airport, Lauren getting in a car to go to the airport, or Heidi getting in a car to go to the airport! Every second of the show was so interesting, so intense, so suspenseful. Would Lauren really pack that many shoes? Could Heidi really make that puckered sad face one hundred times in thirty minutes? And could Whitney save the whole episode with just one adorable face?
Oh yes. Definitely.
After 6 months of wasting our brain cells watching these people ogle at (and own!) Chanel bags and stare at each other uncomfortably at dinner, we’ve come to realize that the whole show rides on Whitney’s back to make it interesting. She’s the only natural thing left on The Hills, and her quirky faces actually remind us that we’re watching humans and not robots.
Here she is when Editor LeatherFace tells her she’s going to Paris! So adrobs!
Don’t you just love her? It’s too bad her work BFF Lauren can’t quite match her enthusiasm for life. Instead, she mopes around the office after she gets negged (at first) on the Paris trip:
And then expresses her excitement with a sassy face once Lisa allows her to make the trip across the Atlantic.
At least now Lauren has learned never to make life decisions around a boy. Thank you Jason, for that important lesson!
Here we have another guy teaching a woman life lessons:
The lesson for Heidi: don’t sell yourself short by settling down with a prick before you turn 21-years old. Otherwise your face will freeze permanently in this position:
The orange tint, luckily, is only temporary. So boohoo, Heidi is going to head home to give herself some time to think about the fact that her boyfriend runs out of the house (and into Mommy’s arms) every time they fight. Good move girlfriend! You’ll be even smarter if you never return.
So what did we learn in this finale? Let’s see…Whitney is adorable, Audrina is boring without Justin Bobby, Heidi is miserable and Lauren cuts out magazine clippings of herself (we assume) to save. How preciously self-absorbed!
Before she heads off to Paris with her 80 pairs of shoes, Brody stops by to drop enough of his sexy big brother routine to keep Lauren interested. They even kiss - on the lips! But with not tongue. Confusing.
Just as we were about to bid The Hills bonsoir for good, Lauren announced that the gang will be back for 8 more episodes. Until then, we’ll be praying for the rain to fall down and ruin our cable so we never have to sit through The Hills again.
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