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Everyone’s favorite suicidal funny-man Owen Wilson has apparently hired a “$750-a-day sober companion” to help him stay on the wagon. Wilson’s already been to rehab twice and doesn’t feel like going back, even though he probably needs it as badly as Paris needs some dignity.
This sounds like a super fun gig but we’re already tied up. So who’s available?
Nicole Richie: They can go shopping for baby clothes and discuss smack addiction in between yoga sessions!
Dina Lohan: She was a great help to Lindsay, why not let her enable someone else?!
Kanye West: He canceled his entire promo tour, so what else is he gonna do?
Kate Hudson: What’s better than an ex-girlfriend to take your mind off of your addiction problems. Plus that gal is just totally adorable. Kinda makes you feel like stayin’ clean, doesn’t she? [Yeeeah! Images: Getty]
In an interview with Complex, Ja Rule rants against the media’s persecution of hip-hop, and suggests that gay people make much better punching bags.
“There’s a f***ing black kid right now about to get 25 years for having a fight with some white kids over hanging the nooses over the white tree, let’s get to that. Let’s get into s*** like that, because that’s what’s tearing up America, not me calling a woman a bitch or a hoe on my rap songs. And if it is, then we need to go step to Paramount, and f***ing MGM, and all of these other motherf***ers that’s making all of these movies and we need to go step to MTV and Viacom, and lets talk about all these f***ing shows that they have on MTV that is promoting homosexuality, that my kids can’t watch this s***. Dating shows that’s showing two guys or two girls in mid-afternoon. Let’s talk about s*** like that! If that’s not f***ing up America, I don’t know what is.“
It should be pointed out that Ja Rule’s shirtless, cartoonishly butch antics in his videos have done just as much to promote homosexuality.
You feel me? It’s funny how a homophobe can come off so…gay.
Here’s the next round of individual shots of the men who’ll compete on I Love New York 2. These five are the rest of the Regular Casting guys (peep the first five Regular Casting guys here). Do you think 20 Pack is named for his sculpted abs? And if so, is he part insect? I don’t even want to know what that looks like, but I’m sure we’ll find out Oct. 8 when I Love New York 2 premieres on VH1.
On this week’s episode of The Hills, Lauren is so stressed out by the thought of seeing Jason again that she grows old lady eye wrinkles in under thirty minutes. Being a girl is just like, soooooo effing unfair!
It’s no secret what we think of this year’s Hip Hop Honors recipients. If we were host Tracy Morgan, we might say we want to take them out back behind the middle school and get them pregnant. So since you already know what we think, we thought we’d ask some of hip hop’s deftest minds and smoothest voices for their opinions of the honorees. Here’s theRoots‘ super-producer Questlove, who will be at the ceremony airing on October 8th at 10 p.m., on Snoop Dogg:
I believe that Snoop Dogg is hands-down the most charismatic figure in hip hop history. I know that it’s very dangerous to speak in those terms of hip hop, but you really have to examine his track record. To me, the one element that he has [is] longevity. Yes, Slick Rick has a very charismatic voice [and] great narrative. There’s a lot of MCs that have awesome narratives. There are a lot of MCs that have great voices, and presence when they’re on television. But the name of the game is can you give me a triple double score fifteen years in a row? That is where your greatness will come to life. He has an amazing voice, and he has an amazing amount of context when it comes to his career.
As you can see in the shot above (and the gallery below), taken at a New York Virgin Megastore yesterday, Kanye West is busy at work promoting the release of Graduation. But, according to the New York Post, he isn’t promoting-promoting it. The Post cites three recent cancellations from Kanye — a Today show performance last week, and TRL and Letterman spots that were to go down yesterday — as an indication of Kanye’s ballooning arrogance.
The paper surmises that his thought process could be something like, “I don’t even have to promote my album for people to buy it.” While it’s fun to think that Kanye’s delusions may have reached self-destructive heights, it’s probably not the case. Fame whoring is as crucial to Kanye’s career as laying down beats — you can be sure that only the most extreme circumstances would keep him from in front of the camera (his publicist says that problems with the production of his act were the cause of the Today cancellation). He’s doing this for us, people. And by “us,” I mean “him.” [New York Post / All images: Getty]
Britney Spears and Madonna have been threatened with forcible Islamic conversion and, if that doesn’t work, death. The hate-slinging comes courtesy of Muhammad Abdel-Al, mouthpiece and senior leader of the Popular Resistance Committees, a militant Palestinian organization that reps the Gaza Strip. According to a new book, Schmoozing With Terrorists, Mo promises that, “if these two prostitutes keep doing what they will do, we of course will punish them…We can stone them and even we can kill them.” He’s also quoted as having proclaimed:
“If I meet these whores I will have the honor – I repeat, I will have the honor – to be the first one to cut the heads off Madonna and Britney Spears if they will keep spreading their satanic culture against Islam.“
Leave it to religious fundamentalists to take music criticism to a new level. They often get called out by Westerners for being “backwards,” but clearly, they are innovators. [WorldNetDaily / Image credit: Getty]
Watch your back Paris! Kim Kardashian is about to go all Single White Female on your Hilton ass. Slowly but surely, Kim is taking over the heiress’life. Give her a year and she’ll be carrying five chihuahuas and flashing her vag while wearing a grandma bouffant. Kim’s new reality show on the E! network is set to replace her ex-best friend’s former hit The Simple Life, and cameras are already following the sexy, big-assed celebutard wherever she goes. This past weekend, Kim took Paris’ spot in the Heatherette fashion show, modeling the LA designers’ goods (along with porn star Jenna Jameson) while P shot her new movie in Toronto. Next we’ll probably see Kim making out with Adrian Grenier and driving drunk after visiting In-n-Out Burger. It’ll just look that much hotter (and you know, bigger in the booty). [E Online. Images: Getty]
She used to be known as Eve of Destruction, but these days Eve’s in far chipper spirits. The former first lady of the Ruff Ryders is about to release her fourth album, Here I Am, which features Eve actually singing, plus the talents of Adam Levine, Shakira and Swizz Beatz, among many, many others. We can’t wait to see what the paw-printed princess has planned, but judging from “Tambourine” and the video for that song, we’re in for a Technicolor dream-world that’s rainbow colored, sexy and totally toned. Eve’s always been a force to be reckoned with. She’s a musician first, but also has had a fledgling clothing line (Fetish), a UPN sitcom (Eve) and numerous film appearances. She’s had her fair share of scandals, too: There was a sex-tape circulated around the Internet, and earlier this year, she was arrested for a DUI. While she was in prison, Sean Penn came to visit her, which sparked a flurry of rumors about their relationship, none of which appear to be true. What is true is that we can’t wait for Eve’s new album, and that she’s definitely a beauty. Check her out here, and don’t forget to tune in when she hosts the Vibe Awards on Wednesday, November 14. It’s going to be hottt.
Robert Plant told NME about the probable Zep reunion a week or so ago, and the buzz has been bouncing around the world. Now the band itself has confirmed it. On November 26 in London, Plant, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham will convene to explode one of classic rock’s most cherished songbooks. The charity concert, which also features Pete Townshend, Paolo Nutini, Foreigner, and Bill Wyman and the Rhythm Kings, is a celebration of beloved Atlantic Records founder and famed producer Ahmet Ertegun (check out this great documentary of Ertegun’s accomplishments). Tickets are available by ballot only. A Website on which to register is forthcoming. Mothership, their latest greatest hits disc, will be released on November 13.
Why are Zep fans so excited? Kick up the volume of your computer and cruise through these fab videos to reacquaint yourself with the foursome’s power.
If you have two eyes and watched Britney move around on the VMAs stage like a tired raver trying to dance at 10AM after a night of hardcore clubbing, you’ll know that there really is no conspiracy involving her crappy performance. Britney straight up sucked it, but the excuses and stories keep pouring in placing the blame for Brit’s disaster on anyone and anything. We break ‘em down below, and all they really prove is that Brit is still a sloppy mess with ratty hair.
The Boot Heel:
Theory - Britney’s boot heel snapped at the beginning of the performance (check out the video “proving” this theory above).
Response - Maybe, but a broken boot heel doesn’t put a glazed look in one’s eye.
The Hairdresser:
Theory -Ken Paves - Jessica Simpson’s elfish hair stylist - was supposed to do Brit’s mane but quit at the last minute, after Brit was difficult to work with. So the singer supposedly styled her own hair with extensions from Jessica Simpson’s Hair-U-Wear line.
Response - So that’s why her hair looked so cheap! It’ still no excuse for forgetting how to lipsynch.
The Fat Pig:
Theory - MTV wanted Britney to wear a “form-flattering corset,” but Brit opted for that bikini number instead. Shortly before the show, she had an epiphany: She no longer has the body of a teenager.
Response - This doesn’t explain her failure on-stage, but maybe why she supposedly cried ‘Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!’ as she ran off-stage after her flop. Brit - for the record, you may have sucked, but you looked nice n’ healthy in that fugly bikini.
Everyone’s favorite suicidal funny-man Owen Wilson has apparently hired a “$750-a-day sober companion” to help him stay on the wagon. Wilson’s already been to rehab twice and doesn’t feel like going back, even though he probably needs it as badly as Paris needs some dignity.
Keep Kate Hudson Away From Owen Wilson!
It’s no secret what we think of this year’s 
Watch your back Paris! Kim Kardashian is about to go all 
