Let’s see, where did we leave off when we last saw our friends Adrianne and Chris?
Oh. Right. The gift of a lifetime that would soon lead to the battle of a lifetime. Who knew something so sexy could go so wrong?
Adrianne, innocently preparing the world’s greatest birthday gift for her husband, invites her hot pal Kelly to take sexy pics with her as a present for Chris. The girls giggle and get close (but that’s it, we swear!).
And then like, really close.
But get those thoughts out of your head! It’s all just for Chris, the 49-year old birthday boy. You know, this guy:
After only two episodes, we’ve realized that Chris is gonna make that face a lot this season.
Adrianne is nervous that she’s made the wrong choice for Chris’ surprise birthday getaway, after learning (3 years into a relationship??) that her hubby hates cold weather. Clearly they were too busy in the bedroom over for such details.
But she puts on a brave face, packs up the essentials:
And the two head up to Big Bear Mountain to play in the (2 inches of man-made) snow.
Luckily Chris is a good sport, and the couple has fun acting half their age (or rather, half of Adrianne’s age). Back at their 70’s style apartment, C & A warm their feet in the jacuzzi and cool their passion with more girl talk (as in Adrianne’s favorite subject).
Adrianne makes some tentative jokes about Chris wanting photographic documentation of girl-on-girl action to test his receptiveness to her gift. He calls her “one of a kind.” All signs now point to disaster!
But first, birthday!
A grown up dinner in kiddie hats and a giant cake complete with 49 candles starts the night off right, which only makes things that much more uncomfortable when sh*t goes wrong. Chris keeps his sense of humor as Adrianne insists on lighting all the candles:
And he even eats it when she uses her hand to grab some of the sweetness and shove it in his mouth.
Finally, it’s time for the gift-giving ceremony. And the first present goes over great!
It’s naked Adrianne in a frame! What guy wouldn’t love that.
He’s so happy! So lucky! Until…
He opens his second present. The photo book from his worst nightmare.
It’s sexily horrible. Uh oh. Chris makes his class scrunched-forehead face, but his goofy smile is noticeably absent. This is gonna be bad.
Adrianne, oblivious to the disaster she’s created by presenting her husband a photo album full of pics of her caressing a naked woman, grins proudly at her work.
And then, all hell breaks loose. Chris is “disturbed” and accuses Adrianne of being a lesbian as she tries to defend her “professional photoshoot.” And suddenly, there’s fighting. Lots of it. Now we understand the need for “counseling twice a week” thing. Maybe they should add a few more days?
Apparently, Adrianne was under the impression that Chris wanted to see her pretend to bone her hot girlfriend. She was WAY wrong.
We can’t help but feel bad for Adrianne in this sitch. Her desire to give Chris what she thinks is an amazing gift is even more genuine than her passion for ladies. And as she herself declares (or screams): she’s not a lesbian – she’s a CHRISIAN. And really, aren’t we all?
But her teary pleas doesn’t work. Adrianne’s girl-on-girl masterpiece has convinced Chris that he’s married to a lesbian. And so rather than embrace this sexy side of his wife, he bails. Is he maybe a baby? We kinda think so. But we also hope he comes back.