Examining Rehab with Dr. Drew (Episode 6)
Dr. Drew’s weekly commentary on Celebrity Rehab continues! After the jump, the hardest-working doctor in showbiz talks Friends & Family Weekend, Jeff’s empty promises, Brigitte’s triggering and why he thinks Vikki’s portrayal on the show is unfair.
In this episode, Jeff threatens to leave…
Shocking! Jeff? Threatening to leave?
The saga continues. One thing he says is, “You guys don’t need this,” as though his absence would be charity.
I don’t even remember that happening. I don’t know what he was talking about. It’s Jeff: we stopped listening a week earlier (laughs).
When the planning is underway for the family weekend, you urge Chyna to reconnect with her sister. Is it important for her to do so, even if it would be uncomfortable to her?
Yes! You want to heal as much as can be healed, and you want to get the important people back in the game with them. You want those relationships restored, if they can be. You should know that my expectation was that her sister was not as evil a person as she was making her out to be. In all probability, her sister would have been delighted to hear from her. Again, I caution when dealing with addicts looking at things in terms of good and bad. It’s usually just human struggling. And humans basically are pretty darn good and care about the important people in their lives. They may not understand how to manage certain things, but we’re there for that.
You know, I don’t know if she even gives reasons for why she thinks her sister is so evil.
There’s a lot of stuff that went on about other people that, because they couldn’t get written clearances from them, they couldn’t air. They didn’t want to hurt anyone or be sued. But there are at least four people that I can think of that did horrible things to our patients that you won’t see on TV that, believe me, were discussed extensively in treatment.
As the episode goes on, there’s more drama with Jeff. I think this most shocking thing he’s said on the show so far is, “Will you get that camera off of me?”
(Laughs) That’s shocking! The translation is: “Get the camera. Come here!” Goodness. God bless him.
This is the first time we see you break down and say that he’s depleting you.
Yeah, I started losing it the last week. I started getting really worn out. If we do this again, I’m going to get more staff because everything was falling onto my shoulders. It was designed that way because we didn’t know what we were getting into fully. But they were wearing me down. What you don’t see on camera is me struggling to get them to do their steps, struggling to get them to 12-step meetings. And then there was them behaving like children. “There were cockroaches there!” “Somebody looked at me wrong!” That kind of stuff. That was really wearing me thin.
When you do feel beat down like, what do you do?
I run. I exercise. I go spend time with my wife and kids. I try to get away. But the way that this was set up, I’d be at home in my T-shirt and I’d get a call: get up here immediately. Like, “Jesus! No! Not again! Come on! You’re killing me already!” And in real life, I’d have another doctor or two to share responsibilities with.
You refer to addiction as a “family disease” a few times. Can you elaborate on that?
It affects all family members. First of all, it’s a genetic disease, so it’s affecting more than one person in the family, literally. And it operates in a system. That disease affects all the other members of the system. It contains itself by using that system and we have to change the system so the disease can’t flourish any longer.
Part of the first-day activity is for family members to share how the disease has affected them. Is that just to give tangible evidence of addiction’s devastation?
Well, no. At this stage, when the addicts start getting better, the family starts getting angry. That’s just a normal part of the process. It comes from the fact that the family members no longer feel scared and terrorized by the disease, but they also know that now that the person is sobered up, they can now listen. And so they just dump. We like for that to happen in a safe environment – get it all out, get it all on the table and let’s process it.
And Vikki’s back this episode.
Yes. You start to see her do some work and then Jeff starts looking not-so-good. It goes back and forth. It’s a dance. And it’s not a good person and a bad person, it’s two people struggling. It’s not as though she’s there to make him sick. That’s not what she’s doing, trust me. And I don’t like the way the producers sort of present her as evil. I understand it’s TV, but that is a mistake, I think. It’s just somebody struggling.
“Evil” is exactly the word that went through my head.
Trust me, she is not an evil person. She is hurting just like the rest of them and she is struggling.
At least Vikki sort of owns up to her faults this episode.
That is the moment that I really started feeling empathy for what Vikki had to put up with regarding Jeff’s disease. I knew it was there, and I knew I would see it eventually.
The restaurant exercise, was that thought up to counter the narcissism you talk about addicts exhibiting?
Yeah. It’s to learn to be of service. If we do this again, that’s something we have to do: more service. When I see someone doing just simple acts of service, ot adopting the whole, but going out and serving someone a sandwich, that’s when I know that sobriety’s kicking in.
Brigitte has a really negative reaction to this environment.
Well, it’s the alcohol there. That’s the problem. She wants to use.
Did you feel like exposing her to that was a mistake?
No. It was too evocative, and it was not as controlled an environment as I would have liked, but it’s not as though someone relapsed because of it. That scares me, but no, they need to understand the feelings that come when they’re exposed to that in real life.
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April 16th, 2008 at 11:50 am
In this episode i see how the effects of drugs of each person that made them go into rehab didn’t only effect them and their life, but the lives of their family and friends around them. No one should have to put your love ones in that kind of situation and for them to see you like that. It also showed for each person to get better and kick their bad habbits, they’re going to need the support of their family and friends so they can help them though the ruff times head of them and keep them going so they wont give up on themselves. If they do that they will be right back where they started when thet were first walking threw the rehab doors.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:39 am
I dont think some people realize just how important friends and family really are. I know some kids that are addicted to cocaine and do weed and alcohol all the time. Alot of these kids are my friends. Its’s always fun to go have a good time but they go overboard. One of my closest friends drinks all the time. Just last wednesday he asked me to come over and share a fifth of vodka with him. His dad is a major reason that he drinks and smokes. He’ll throw parties every weekend and his dad knows but doesnt care.
There are cases like that were the family contributes to the problem, but there are also times when the family helps. A kid who is now 20 was taken to NSI at 16. It’s a detention school. His grandma turned him in. He’s completely sober now and has a great life all because his family cared. Seeing the family’s on this show all talk and work things out was nice. It’s hard to talk about those things.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:38 am
I understand that family and friends can really help to support and guide those with addictions. I lost a brother to drugs and sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we would have sat down and talked to him instead of just letting him go on. It wouldn’t necessarily have to be us telling him that he needed to stop but telling him of how it affected us and how much we all loved him.
Love can be a great healer for those who are struggling. Even in everyday problems we can tlak to friends and know that they love us and are going to help us through the problem the most that they can. Those are definetly the people I want to be around not the ones who are trying to get me to keep going down a path that is not healthy physically or mentally.
To see how many families actually showed up to suppost was a warming feeling. For tose few who didn’t have family or friends it honestly makes me hurt. The families should be there showing their support and love because with out that the person might not get better. These people need to know that they are loved and cared about and that whatever happens they still have their family. Without that they will have to start looking for love in other places which could lead them down the same path that they are on now or an even more dangerous one.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Friends and family are extremely important in recovering from being an addict. They can help you so much in seeing things that you never realized. They can tellyou how they felt all those times you came home or called them while you were high or drunk. With that going through your mind, it should make you want to quit drinking or doing drugs.
My mom used to be a heavy smoker. When she decided to quit I was so happy! My brothers and I were a big part to helping her quit. I know that smokning isn’t as big as an addiction as other drugs that some people have but it was still hard on our family. She had mood swings and cravings for off the wall things. She has been smoke free for many years now and happy they passed the bill for no smoking in public buildings. Thats a big step up.
So, I believe that friends and family are a huge part of recovering. Friends you had befroe you started doing drugs, get them back in your life, get back in touch with relatives you used to be close to. Promise them no more drugs or alcohol. It means the world to a lot of people when you say that, even though its so simple. It meant the world to me when my mom promised me she would quit smoking.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:27 am
I do have to say that after watching episode 6 i do agree that family should support other family members who are drug addicts. I have a sister who is a drug and alcohol addict and she has three kids. When she had her first kid my parents had to take her son in because she could not provide him food, water, or shelter becuase she was spending all her money on drugs. Then about a year later she ended up in jail for DUI and my parents had to bail her out. She has extremme difficulty keeping jobs and when she has money she goes out and blows it on drugs and alcohol. She now has three kids and is homeless because the trailer my parents bought for her burned to the ground when she fell asleep with a ciggarette in her hand. I will say this, by seeing how her life turned out when she let drugs consume her i will not do them. Also i am happy that i have someone who loves me greatly and will not let me do drugs and if i do she will step in and stop me, not provide me more.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:26 am
There is something that this show brings that is very interesting to me. My mom struggled with drugs and alcohol for most of my child hood and it took something major for her to change that because she was so hooked on them. She went to prison and it really helped her change. Although im pretty sure that the rehab she recieved wasnt nearly as “relaxed and open” as the show shows i have seen a major change in her since then.
This show really bings into prospective how she struggled and how hard it was for her to break her habit. And seeing how i was such a lttle kid at the time i never truely understood what was going on . I really find myself relating to Brigetes kids in that my mom hid her addiction from both me and my brother and we never found out about her problem until the police came and told my dad she had been arrested. It was really hard to find this out because she would be sober the whole time we would be at her house for a visit so it was a major lie that took me a long time to forgive.
This show is very interesting and the fact that my mom went through it i understand how the celebrities and their families feel. Especially their families.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:22 am
I was suprised about how the people reacted to getting to see there family and how some of the familys didn’t want tocome even though alot of these people are in rehab for the people that they want to come and howbad the celebrites must feel when these people dont want to come. I think Dr. drew needs to have vicky removed from jeff’s life because she is causing alot of problems each time she comes. jeff also needs tofind a way to let out his aggression other than yelling at people who want to help him and see him get better. also if he wants to leave let him because it will be hislife he is messing up and it makes it harder on everyone else to have to deal with his stuff all the time and it makes everyone not want to be there
April 16th, 2008 at 11:20 am
My dads friends really remind me of Jeff and his girlfriend. It reminds me of them because they were a couple that were both alocoholics. But instead of going to treatment it took my dads friend’s wife dying because she was an alcoholic to get my dad’s friend to quit drinking. My dads friend is doing really good now. You can tell that he used to be an alcoholic because he doesnt speak as well as he could if he wasnt an alcoholic. He also seems to be a lot happier now that he doesnt drink all the time. While he was drinking all his were scared to be around him because he was really under weight and looked really bad. He has a twin brother and while he was drinking you couldnt even tell that they were related. It was a very bad experence for everyone and I hope that it doesnt take the death of a loved one to get alcoholics on the right track and away from drinking.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:16 am
When I saw Celebirty Rehab I thought that they should help the people that can’t get rehab. But then I thought that the celebritys are like rolemodels to people that can’t afford rehab or to people who will not go to go to rehab. And now I know what people go through in rehab and how it effects them.
I think that if my friends had a chance to go to rehab I would be by their side all the way through their stay in rehab. And I wish they would go to rehab cause I hate when do drugs around me.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Watching this show has shown how difficult it is going through rehab after being addicted to something as simple as alcohol. Jeff seemed to have the most trouble, but towards the end of episode 5 he seemed to mellow out and really take in his surroundings. This show has shown the ups to getting better and the downs in the process. There are a lot of denials about their addiction and so many things that they all need to come to terms with like everyone who is an adict needs to. I think it is important to have support from friends and family while going through treatment because it shows that they aren’t alone and don’t have to go through the painful process alone. China doesn’t have that support so I think it will be harder for her to complete treatment.