On this episode of Girlicious, the ladies move in to the loft, but someone’s not getting too comfortable…

The Girlicious pad is pretty sweet – there’s lots of mirrors, exercise equipment and “plenty of places to chill,” says Jamie. Requisite screaming and running from room to room ensues.

Cassandra is overwhelmed by the new digs — she’s not used all the leopard print carpeting. Natalie, who you’ll remember from last episode as the non-boot lending harpie who hated Charlotte, realizes she needs some allies in this game. She and Chrystina snag their own room, and the smack talking begins!

Apparently, Nichole told Natalie that she didn’t want to room with her because she and Chrystina would be “whispering and talking secrets the whole time” — which is precisely what Natalie proceeds to do. If only the girls were competing at irony and not singing and dancing, Natalie would have this contest on lock down!

The Pussycat Dolls appear and preach the first rule of Pussycat-dom: confidence. The girls are now in Pussycat Dolls boot camp, and split into groups to perform some of the biggest pop hits ever: “Holiday,” “Tearin’ Up My Heart” and “Baby One More Time.”

After a day of rehearsals, Natalie’s got plenty of material for a sh*t-talking session with Chrystina that evening. It’s like FDR’s Fireside Chats, except in silver stripper get-ups.

The “Tearin’ Up My Heart” group gets quite a surprise the following day, when JC Chasez stops by to visit the girls. He opens up the floor for a Q&A session, and imparts gems like “When you practice, you have to practice full out” and “You have to be willing to sound bad, to sound good.” Sadly he didn’t address the topic of living in Justin Timberlake’s shadow.

Robin decides to take the girls out, and tells them that all they’ll need is a pair of really cute heels, and sunglasses. This could just as easily be her perspective on life. She takes them to a minor league ball field, where the girls will have to perform the national anthem. The winning group will perform at the game, and the most confident girl will be immune from disqualification.

While other groups practice, Natalie adopts a “why bother?” attitude, and wants to play it safe, infuriating the rest of her group, and makes Tiffanie angry enough to threaten some sort of hair violence, and quote JC Chasez.

Carrie winds up winning immunity. But not from her roots.

Nichole decides to confront Natalie on her negative attitude, which does not compute with Natalie. Natalie’s so used to talking about people behind their backs, she has to turn away from Nichole, towards Jenna and say, “The way she said it to me, Jenna…” while Nichole sits right there. An extraordinary cluster of trash-talking develops when in an attempt to deflect, Natalie tells Tiffanie that Nichole called her “bossy.” If it was unconfirmed previously, its established now: Natalie is the Queen Bee of Middle School Politics. Natalie makes the second teary phone call of the episode, and when her mother asks her what the most important thing is, she says “winning.” Wrong. Her mother responds with: “You being proud of who you are.” Almost, Nat. Almost.

Question: Why on earth would Ron Fair choose to wear that hat? Maybe he got jealous of Lil Kim being the only one who’s unrecognizable.

Nichole, Natalie, Tiffanie and Ilisa perform “Holiday,” complete with umbrellas. Just goes to show, the “Umbrella” craze is not limited to that song.

Megan, Jamie, Cassandra and Alexis perform “Baby One More Time.” They sound more like they’re on Star Search than Girlicious.

Jenna, Charlye, Chrystina and Carrie did such a good job on “Tearin’ Up My Heart,” Lil Kim calls them the Girl N*Sync.

In the end, Megan’s pageant background cost her her boa, and she’s eliminated. “Pageants made me who I am…” Megan says wistfully. “Maybe it was the wrong time.”

Only two episodes in, and we get the black-and-white remembrances.

Tags: Girlicious•Pussycat Dolls•Television