The Salt-N-Pepa Show Recap – Episode 12 – Straight Up, Weight Up


Does Pep look fat in this?


She thinks so!

Salt-N-Pepa have a few special events to attend, and you know what that means: it’s time for a wardrobe refresher. And you know what that means: personal scrutiny will ensue.



“I don’t want wings!” yelps Pep when she sees herself in this number. Apparently, gold lamé is something she does want. I wonder how many crunches she’d have to do to get over that. No matter. Pep frets over weight gain that she and, apparently, no one else notices. So she takes the next natural step:


She goes to a plastic surgeon who scrutinizes her far better than she can scrutinize herself.


His verdict? Do more crunches. And you know if a plastic surgeon is telling you that, there’s really nothing he could legally do for you, because they’ll liposuck blood from a stone. He tells Pep that her situation is not an emergency.


She disagrees.

Outside the office, Pep admits that the source of her problem is that she doesn’t exercise and that she’s taking the easy way out. With that in mind, she invites Salt over for a workout.

Said workout consists of Dance, Dance Revolution


…and sitting on this weird vibrating thing:



Wait, they can show that on TV?

The most detrimental thing is that after her workout, for her one meal of the day, Pep orders, like, half of the seafood on this takeout menu. Salt knows her girl is just being shellfish.


So Salt suggests that they go to this gym in Brooklyn that advertises itself as a boot camp.


Pep cannot get through the workout without apparently falling asleep…




…attaching herself to a pole…


…and finally just shutting down completely…


It’s as though she’s mourning the loss of space in her fat cells.

Later, a very sore Pep goes to Salt’s house where Salt attempts to cook a healthy meal for her. Check out Pep’s reaction to broccoli:



Is she 12? George H.W. Bush? Like, really, what is her deal?

She visits her hairdresser, who suggests she do a “cleanse.” At home, she concocts herself a mixture of lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water. If she hates broccoli, she’s going to love this.


I rest my case.

Then, Pep dons a spacesuit.


I guess she figures that you weigh less in space?

Hey look — two weightloss methods in one:


Is this the anti-exercise equivalent of doing arms while on the elliptical?

For her final attempt at quick, easy weight loss, Pep tries acupuncture.


Note that I didn’t say “painless”:


Finally, it’s time for their event. Salt brings over that gold lamé thing and…


…it fits! No more batwings! All that hard and bizarre work has paid off! Except no it hasn’t: Salt reveals that her accompanying friend altered it so that it fits Pep better, especially around the arms. What a lesson!


With a few snips and stitches, you too can be this fabulous!

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  1. kathy says:

    I dont blame you Pepa. Salt really comes over as thinking she is all that and a bag of chips and she feel as if you are …., not. I wont really say what i mean. Salt is cute and all that, but it is the way she treat you as if you have no brain at all and is a alley cat. But hear lately you have been standing up to her. Dont let her treat you like that. You are her equal. Stay Strong Girl.

  2. deborah harris says:

    pepa did you get a new look because you great on the show, and so does you two salt.

  3. tiffany says:

    pepa needs to just grow up and act her age and stop dressin slutty! act like a real mom and your kids might respect you and stop all this clubbin `(&~ grow the `!$) up and slow the `!$) down-you have no confidence in yourself or your skills b/c you are always tryin to get salt involved in some weak @&^ deals b/c you are broke and need money cause treach ain’t doing `(&~ but acttin young and dumb like you-stop gambling and stop with the plastic surgeries and you’ll have some money and a house-don’t blame salt for growing up and wanting to be a church mom…sorry pep you were my girl but don’t like how you blame others for your situations

  4. Arriel Surratt aka #1 fan of the reality show says:

    pepa hune u iz not fat u r P.H.A.T which means: pretty hot and thick which we all are so dnt worry bout ur weight n wat u thnk ppl will say bout u wen u get on dat red carpet b/c it aint wat dey say bout u itz how u feel bout ur self on da inside!!!!!!!!!! hope dis can help u if u actually get 2 read des comments luv ya :) ooo n plez wat eva u do stay away 4rm the botox n da pens n needles!!!!

  5. Chris says:

    Does anyone remember the name of the boot camp fitness gym they went to? I know its in brooklyn ,but dont remember exact location

  6. ?????? ????? says:

    ?????? ????? ???????????! ?????? ???????? ???? ???????????? ??????. ???? ? “?????? ????? ????? ???? ???”:)

  7. ??????? says:

    ? ??????? ?? ?????????? ? ????? ???????????????? ????????????, ?? ???????, ?? ??? ????? ??? ??. :)

  8. keirston says:

    pepa i know dat was hurting