I Know My Kid’s a Star Recap - Episode 5 - More, More, More!
Lisia says: “My take on this is, no honey, you do not have to win. You don’t have to be the best. You just need to not be the worst.” That philosophy is so awesome that it makes me genuinely sad that it didn’t end up, you know, working.
We begin where we left off: mourning the loss of Rocky.
Indeed, Cheyenne. Rocky was America’s cool auntie. It sounds like I’m kidding, but that’s actually the best description I’ve ever seen of our fallen star.
Meanwhile, Mary Jo sulks…
…and Gigi sulks harder.
She says that people think that Alai should have aced last week’s challenge, since she’s a dance instructor. Get it together, Alai! You’re tarnishing Gigi’s chances to teach the various royalty of Brunei!
Danny corrals the parents and shows them a silent version of Oliver Twist from the ’20s.
Despite what it seems, he is not showing parents how Utopian a parent-less world would be by comparison. He’s showing this film to them because this week’s challenge is all about looking the part. The parents will have a limited amount of time to choose costumes for their children at a thrift store that they’ll wear to an audition of a stage version of Oliver Twist.
Flustering ensues.
Gigi decides that because Alai will be playing a boy, she needs a wig, which…uh, what?
To be fair, the one she digs up is about as masculine a wig as you can get: like, what woman would wear that? Not that Gigi sees things this way. She harasses this thrift-store worker up and down the store.
She asks several times in virtually the same manner whether the employee is aware of more wigs that might be around. She tells Gigi about 500 times that she isn’t because there aren’t. Repetition, we will come to find, runs in the family. Gigi even peers back in some caged off area…
…but, you know, any wigs that are back there are probably being quarantined for radiation or something.
Meanwhile, Danny meets with the kids and gives them monologues they’ll read at today’s Oliver Twist audition.
You want to see parent-less utopia? Look no further. While some kids practice alone…
…others take it upon themselves to make this a group effort and unsurprisingly, there are no tears, pouts or frustrated pauses.
The kids have fun. They’re really supportive of one another…
It’s just generally sweet.
And then the parents get home. Get ready for some contrast. But first, do understand that no one — no kid or adult — has a better rehearsing faces than Gigi.
That’s her expression as she goes over the iconic, “Please sir, can I have some more?” scene with Alai. Please, Gigi, can we have some more of that?
Gian goes over the scene with Sandy.
Sandy’s verdict? “Not impressive.” Heh. She is totally The Critic. Later, she tells Gian to, “lower the tone,” to which Gian responds, “I’m a 12-year-old boy!” He says it so you don’t have to yell it at the screen.
Gigi-Alai drama continues, and even though this scene cuts back and forth between teams, I’ll just lay it all out all together.
Alai just can’t get the lines right, and Gigi suggests that they pack it up and go home. In lieu of that, they practice some more in the hallway.
Here’s how it goes:
Alai: (rehearsing) I’m very sorry, Mr. Bumble. I’m so very sorry indeed!
Gigi: No! Stop putting all those extra words in it! (reading) “I’m very sorry, Mr. Bumble. So very sorry indeed.”
So, basically, “all those extra words” amount to an “I’m.” This seems like a ridiculously minor point until you see Alai make the mistake again and again and again. It’s so frustrating, you can barely fault Gigi for collapsing.
Perhaps you might even want to cheer her on.
McKenzie’s overstating tendencies are alive, well and pointed out by Shannon.
This causes McKenzie to note that when she was practicing by herself it was better. How’s that for toning things down: live, direct and not even hyperbolic enough to enlist the word “utopia.” Anyway, it’s sweet how it all ends up, with Shannon comforting her daughter.
Finally, there is Lisia, who’s maybe a little too encouraging to Hayley:
“You don’t have to be the best. You just have to be better than some!” Lesson to learn, people! Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching…out ahead…ah, whatever. Do whatever you want. Just don’t suck.
The audition approaches and the parents ready their children.
Is anyone else uncomfortable with those scissors’ proximity to Alai’s face?
McKenzie seems down about the real mud her mom puts on her face, but I think it only makes her sassier.
Alai gets in some last-minute practice, which consists mostly of more fumbled lines.
“They’re gonna crucify you!” Gigi tells her. Not if you’ve already used up all the wood! Gigi confesses that she is toughening up Alai in preparation for the brutal world of Hollywood, though I wonder if Hollywood will ultimately toughen Alai up to be adequately prepared for Gigi.
Auditions start. The guest adviser today is none other than…
She’s worse than the other one was. Err…is. Err…OK. What I’m really trying to say is that she’s meaner than Marki.
First up is Mary Jo.
She messes up her lines and, like last week, drops everything to note this. D’oh! After she goes, the general consensus is that Pam’s coaching is not to be trusted. How to unlearn all this?
Catherine sees “nothing genuine” in Gian’s performance.
Hayley lost 30 percent of the dialogue. That’s not the best, nor is it even better than most. Or any for that matter. Double d’oh.
Alai gets similarly lost and the judges take the time to note how disengaged she seems. Perhaps she is too pressured? Much to her credit, when Alai comes off stage, Gigi is completely reassuring.
It’s almost shocking to hear her tell her daughter that her poor performance is “not the end of the world.” She had me convinced that some sort of apocalypse, possibly of the cannibal variety, would occur if Alai didn’t nail this. Believe me, this news is quite the relief.
McKenzie is, of course, more animated than Woody Woodpecker, but all things considered, she does a comparatively good job. Oh, she also calls Marki “sir,” which may be the best thing anyone’s said to Marki in this show’s entire run.
And then there is Cheyenne. The brilliance of performance can be summed up thusly:
Real tears! And concentrated inside those tears is the answer to the trade deficit, a blueprint for world peace and the Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookie recipe. They’re potent is what I’m saying.
Obviously, she wins this and immunity.
Leading up to elimination, Gigi and Alai have a heart-to-heart.
Again, Gigi’s form is surprisingly tender. She examines whether she’s too hard on Alai and pleads with her daughter to, “Tell me what you need.” It’s really sweet. And then she’s all, “If we get eliminated, you better not cry!” Way to relieve the pressure, Geeg.
Marki and Danny meet for their weekly reading for filth. Lisia is too nice. Gigi is too pressuring. Shannon needs to rope McKenzie in even more. To this, Shannon replies…
“If I have to have her more subdued than that, I’m gonna have to put Benadryl in her coffee or something.” Ha! McKenzie just is who she is, you know? At the same time, switching her to decaf couldn’t hurt. You know?
Anyway, elimination comes and goes. Danny assesses that Lisia is not ready for Hollywood and she’s nearly manic in her response so at first it seems like she’s going to get all lippy with Danny.
Instead, she merely says that he’s accurate and makes a classy exit.
Weirder and weirder: she actually cheers that she and Hayley have been eliminated.
Power to the underachievers!
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April 26th, 2008 at 9:26 am
I like this show, don’t misunderstand. But…
Considering that Danny B. is the host, does it strike anyone else that this is shaping up to be a kind of revenge against all stage parents everywhere? Or is it just me?
I don’t know… it seems like that’s the way it’s starting to look. It seems like the message is: the kids are always better (better off?) without their parents. How very Disney-esque. Disney’s point was: nothing [good] ever happens when parents are around to botch things up with all that darned protectiveness and experience.
April 26th, 2008 at 12:17 am
Helene is a Scientologist. That’s why she and Cheyenne come across as so fake, sneaky, false, and unlikeable, regardless of whatever skills or talent either of them have.
Gigi is beyond words. Hey Gigi, just wait until Alai is old enough to go on America’s Next Top Model and you won’t have to pay for the weave in her hair.
In case you don’t get it, that’s sarcasm. Alai has lovely natural hair, as you do. Black women are beautiful without having to buy into white stereotypes of what “gorgeous” is. There’s nothing that says “skanky” like a black woman with someone else’s straight hair sewn onto her head.
Alai comes across as a great kid, and puts you to shame (would God approve of your behavior? No, I don’t think so either) but I don’t attribute this to parenting. I have a wonderful son myself and I was a lousy mother. He was just born good, like Alai apparently. (I straightened myself out later, but too late to do him much good, unfortunately.)
April 25th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Does anyone know the Elimination song of this episode (episode 5)?!?!? I’ve been trying to figure it out and it’s killing me!! HELP PLEASE!!
April 24th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
The mom of the child that was voted off was one of the few remaining balanced individuals left. Gigi is a nightmare, she pushes way too hard. Rocky was a complete disaster. I am surprised her daughter didn’t have a melt down. And if anyone at VH1 reads this, could you have cast a less charming casting director than Kristi Costello? She is unpleasant, wears highly unflattering outfits, and is overall unlikeable. The entertainment industry is next to impossible, so I understand her stern manner but she is still dealing with CHILDREN!. Any casting director knows that you will get a better performance out of your actors if you are simply pleasant. She is NOT, she seems to grandstand more hoping she will get another gig out of it! And there are certainly more casting directors and agents, she is hardly the be all end all. Even in New York there are half a dozen agencies that only deal with children, so there are bound to be plenty in LA. Simon Cowell may be nasty, but he knows when to turn on the compliments and charm when he needs to balance his image, Ms. Costello is just plain shrill and she seems to forget she is dealing with children. The most insecure people on the planet!
And in the extras segment with her little chat with Danny, Why was she ranting about supporting the troops? Is she trying to get some political message out there? There are celebrities that are very active in the USO, and how can she claim that she KNOWS they are all doing it for a photo op? I don’t think she can speak for EVERYONE in Hollywood. What has she done to support our troops? Her rant made no sense.
April 23rd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
TAYLOR,
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING MCKENZIE. SHE HAD 6 TEETH REMOVED FRIDAY AND HAS BEEN HURTING REALLY BAD, BUT READING YOUR BLOG MADE HER SMILE. I’M GLAD YOU ARE STILL WATCHING THE SHOW. HANG IN THERE WITH US AS LONG AS YOU CAN.
April 23rd, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Everyone on this show is evil and should be ashamed of themselves. No wonder child stars disown their parents.
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Although Cheyenne has done possibly the best job so far from a technical standpoint, Mackenzie is the clear winner in my book because she is just the most interesting, confident, and charismatic contestant, not to mention adorable. Maybe that is the almighty “it” factor everyone keeps discussing. Even Danny couldn’t help saying that he thinks she may possibly be one of the cutest little girls in the world. I think Mackenzie will continue to progress and even outdo Cheyenne from a technical standpoint. (if you don’t win - just know you are the only reason I am still watching this show.)
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:12 pm
It is sad to see that Lisia is so insecure and lacks confidence but what is worse is that she tries to justify it by her honesty that she is not ready about Hollywood. Why is this so sad? Well, the show was suppose to be for her daughter and not her…her daughter should of been the one to say she is ready to leave…you can see Hayley upset with her mother’s decision, her mother’s immature exit, and final statements…poor Hayley had be the strong one for her mother and never got to express her feelings and desires but instead her emotions had to be steered by her mother’s emotions. DID YOU SEE HOW SHE WAS HOLDING IN HER TEARS IN ORDER TO MAKE HER MOTHER LOOK LIKE THE HERO? Mom, if you UNSELFISHLY LOVE your child, then stop feeding the foundation of co-dependancy and instead feed resiliency and independence in your child!
April 21st, 2008 at 11:47 am
One thing I can’t stand are poison-mouthed witches who can’t stop themselves from backstabbing. No class, none whatsoever. Gigi is the worst, but when it comes to back-biting it’s those supposed god-fearing southern “Ladies” (term used verrry loosely) who are in a class by themselves. For self-professed “Christians”, they seem to know nothing of what Christ taught.
April 21st, 2008 at 3:42 am
WHAT IS THAT SONG THAT IS FEATURED RIGHT BEFORE THEY SHOW THE KIDS PRACTICING, RIGHT AFTER THE COMMERCIAL BREAK? IT’S ACOUSTIC AND THERE ISN’T ANY LYRICS, PLEASE REPLY! I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS SONG FOREVER
April 21st, 2008 at 2:29 am
Cheyenne I just veiwed the commercial U were GREAT!!!This is for Sheri I will be surprised if Cheyenne doesn’t win BUT I was NOT at all surprised when u & ur son were sent home!!!!Get some new glasses!!!!
April 21st, 2008 at 2:23 am
The only reason I watch is bcause of Cheyenne,McKenzie&Gian.I loved Haley as well.They are the only ones that have talent.For Sheri to say Cheyenne doesn’t have the “it” factor just shows how blind u r.Get some better glasses!!!Good Luck Cheyenne,McKenzie,Gian& Haley-I am sure america will be seeing lots of you in the future.Shannon and Helene you should get mother of the year-both of you are GREAT examples of what a mother should be!!!
April 20th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Gigi,
I’m so sorry how they are protraying you on the show. Though I strongly disagree with the way you treated Alai a times we are all human and none of us are perfect. Plus, being on a reality show is very stressful. Most importantly, I know how much you love your daughter and how much she loves you. I saw many times where you were very affectionate towards her and comforted her when she needed it. I wish they would also show how you taught all the kids a hip hop dance, how you constantly were sewing new outfits for Alai, and how you got together with the kids and made tie-dye clothes.
Just know you are in my prayers and we both know Alai has a great future ahead of her.
Sincerely,
Shannon
P.S. Give Alai a hug from me and McKenzie. Tell her I have some good ole Southern Grits waiting for her.
April 20th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Sorry, I meant Gossip Queen. I forgot to check her name again when I wrote the post.
April 20th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
I just want to ask one question: whose idea was it for the cast to audition the kids for OLIVER?? 90% of the cast in this show are girls; in case you’ve never seen any production of Oliver Twist, musical version or play, most of the children in the cast are BOYS (Orphans and *_$ in’s Boys). Wouldn’t it make more sense to have them audition for Annie? Although, I’m sincerely glad I didn’t have to hear Tomorrow butchered over and over again, but still, I don’t think this was the best choice to test them for a theatrical role.
BTW, Gossip Girl, that’s a nasty bait and switch. Your link has NOTHING to do with this show and is just your own self promotion for your career. I almost thought I ‘d accidentally logged onto a porno site. Post your resume somewhere else.
April 20th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
I just wanted to write that I understand TV REALITY and that it is EDITED, but Gigi is still how she comes across, whether they string it together in segments or not. As a manager and a mother, she could still speak to her daughter better… as a manager- be more professional and don’t act like a 5 year old when she doesn’t get it. You speak AT her, and very disrespectfully. As a mother, be more supportive. If she is as successful and talented as she seems, when she quits trying to please you maybe she’ll make it!
April 20th, 2008 at 11:11 am
HK,
I did see Cheyanne’s commerical and she did do a great job, but like I said she is a great backup. Not once has any of the judges said she has the it factor because she does not. There are thousands of talented kids out here in LA that get parts in commericals, shows, etc. everyday , but only the ones with the it factor make it really big. I do wish her the best of luck but I will be surprised if she wins.
April 20th, 2008 at 9:57 am
GiGi- what you said, it will blow over & everyone will forget about it. Yep-you are being played as the crazeeee mom, just what they wanted, I guess.
I’m not seeing that so much as what i am seeing is frustration.
Frustration that Alie is not doing as well as you know she can.
Don’t let the kooks get to you, they will forget about it soon enough.
April 19th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
Gigi–If you give a kid a hundred hugs in a week–and tell them only one time that they look f***ing scared (on national television I might add), what do you think they are going to remember? I AM a mother, my child loves performing arts, and he has been very successful so far. But there is nothing in this world that would ever make me berate him when he takes a little long to learn lines, or cuss at him, or do anything but support and help him. If he needs 100 passes to learn a dialogue, then I go through it with him 100 times. And if he has to do a cold read or learn something very quickly–we learn what we can, we go in confident, and he has my full support no matter what happens. But I would not EVER tell my child I did not want to be there for him. Nor would I ever say or imply that he made me look bad. When he has a bad audition, if someone asked me how it went, I would not stand there demanding that I rehearsed him and that he should have known it. I would stand there and keep selling him saying that I was confident that he could have gotten it down with more work, and that he is looking forward to his next audition. There is NO amount of editing that would ever catch me degrading my child–period. It doesn’t matter if they cut 100,000 hugs–degrading words in regards to my child would not ever come from my mouth. I hope you realize very soon that the more positive and supportive you are with Alai–the more results you will see from her and the happier you two will be as mother and daughter (which is the most important thing of the two anyway). And she does want to please you, so if you keep it positive, you both can have a wonderful relationship no matter what she chooses to do in life. It is a very difficult thing to have a very talented and sought after child. But you have to make sure your child feels loved and supported above all else. One more little note for you–even if you have the most talented child in the world–a nasty parent can cost a kid a role. Reputations build very easily. It is always a good policy to avoid be known as the impossible stage Mom.
April 19th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Gigi - stop being so mean, pushy and negative to your daughter…each time she responds to your negativity, she is like a robot which is so sad. you better change your ways to your daughter before it’s too late…look to Shannon & Helene and see how they treat their kids with LOVE & PATIENCE !!!
This is not to hate on you but to let you know what is shown on TV of your character is very ugly and if this is how you behave, then you need to change before you lose the friendship of your daughter…she may always love you ’cause after all you are her mom but she will learn not to confide in you because you are too negative towards her.
of all the mom’s behaviour, yours is the worst….please be patient with Alai….she is a beautiful child but you need to be more loving & patient & stop asking “when Alai will come out”…that is the most stupidest question ever.
April 19th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Gigi, there are those of us out here who know you. We know your heart. We know you are a good person and mother. You and Alai are both talented and beautiful. Be secure in knowing that, and knowing that very few people are actually watching this horrible show. It is one of the lowest rated on VH1 because people don’t like to see children suffer. This will all be over soon, and you can go back to being someone with a wonderful family and friends and community that support you. Don’t listen to the haters. They are always looking for someone to hate. Remember, they are just seeing what VH1 wants them to see which is all the bad and none of the good. There are those who know the good in you and not the viscious illusion created by the show. Take care and god bless.
April 19th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
Too all you haters in the world !! I am not crazy !! Hollywood is an ugly and cruel world. You either make it or sleep in the car ! My daugther DID not performed up to her ability in this wacky house ! She has more far more talent than you would ever know or have ever seen. She just cracked under the pressure and she will learn from her experience ! She is not afraid of me and I hope all the hate mail I have recieved makes you feel better but I had to fight to keep my daughter from being eliminated. These letters just show that you emailers have no life and no children with any talent of your own!!! This is a reality show and it only has shown me as the evil pushy mom because they edited all of the nice things i did in the house. NICE THINGS DONT SELL !!!! The EVIL OVERBEARING MOM DOES !!!
WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!
GIGI HUNTER
April 19th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Rocky i just wanted to say that i really admired your daughter since day one. She is so talented and we all miss you at least i do and haley is so taleted and you are a great role model for her! Keep on rockin haley!
April 19th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I just wanted to thank everyone that is saying positive things about my daughter, Cheyenne. She really appreciates the support and encouragement!
I’m also happy that a lot of you can see that I love my daughter very much and we are real people. For those of you wondering, that is why I was friends with Rocky. Rocky did not go behind my back and talk crap about me, unlike others that you didn’t see. She was also extremely funny in a house full of tension.
Those who are interested, you can see the Director’s Cut of Cheyenne’s new McDonalds Commercial here:
http://www.happymeal.com/en_US/index.html#ExtendedTVC
Best of luck to all my friends and supporters.
Love,
Helene
April 19th, 2008 at 2:01 am
Gigi puts waaaaay too much pressure on Alai. I still can’t tell if Alai actually has any desire to be an entertainer or not - from what I can see, Gigi’s trying to live out her own dream through her. And poor Alai just wants her mother’s approval.
Now that Rocky’s gone, it’s pretty obvious how overbearing and disapproving the rest of these moms are (for the most part). We could see it pretty clearly with Gigi earlier, but with the train-wreck Rocky around, she sort of obscured the rest of them. I think the only exception to this is Helene - the reason Cheyenne has been winning all of the challenges is because a) she appears to be pushing herself to do well, and b) her mother doesn’t seem to be criticizing her at every turn.
While it’s true that many, many kids are cute enough to work as child actors, the truth is that not all of them are cut out for it. It’s not a matter of “if you want if bad enough, then it can happen”. Child actors have to have the self-discipline to push themselves for hit (Mary Jo lacks this), they have to be open to taking direction (Mackenzie seems to still be struggling with this), and they have to have the maturity to be able to handle it as a professional who is WORKING at a JOB. Yes, it’s a job. And most of these kids don’t seem to have the kind of maturity that’s needed for this.
April 19th, 2008 at 1:26 am
I have only one comment. Somebody please, please, please PLEASE get Marki to “What Not To Wear”. Where are the fashion police when you need them?
April 18th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
okay…Gigi is a loopy-nut-job!!! you’re supposed to support your child not tear them down. WHO DOES THAT?! I feel so bad for Alai; Does anyone else notice that Alai is afraid of her mother? Not only does she not want to disappoint her mother I think she feels that if she says the way she really feels her mother will flip out. Alai looks so scared when her mother is in the room. I thought Rocky was bad; Gigi makes Rocky look like June Cleaver. I’m sorry but if Gigi doesn’t get her act together that girl is going to end up in therapy!!!!
April 18th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
GiGi is by far the WORST mother….everything is ALWAYS about her and not at all about her poor daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!its always “Me or I” never her daughter unless of course something is wrong and then its allllll her daughters fault—- shes so typical!!! shes treats her daughter like s**t!!! plan and simple…. she needs to just leave
April 18th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
my god somebody please call child protective services on gigi she is abusing that child & needs to be locked up.
April 18th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
after reading all the posts here about alai..I’m not sure I am watching the same show as some of you! I have yet to see any talent in Alai……..her mother is definitely a loser too……I wonder where Gigi got the idea that to @)_ ist your child in any endeavor equates bullying, blackmail and an @)_ ortment of equally mean tactics. I feel for the child. As to Rocky..well can we just say trash? yeah right, I can just see the CEO of Disney sitting down to dinner with her! yeah right! She talked about Pam being a mary kay makeup person…yet she is trying to out do Tammy Fay Baker…..get real! Hayley might..a slight might at that, have the “it” factor ( whatever that is ), but it will never come to be with Rocky at the helm…and if she did..she would end up being another drug addicted child “star”. Gian, you can see this kid wants it badly…..and is willing to put up with anything to get it…including his clueless mother. She has no idea how to coach her son or how to bring out what could possibily be there in him. Shannon and Mackenzie…not sure there…..I think Shannon is capable of handling “hollywood” but not sure she has the talent to help her child act better…..Mackenzie has something there……just waiting for the right person to bring it out in her. MaryJo and Pam..sheesh…..Mary Jo has nothing there at all..no talent whatsover,,,,,Pam is just kidding herself…MaryJo might be able to model kids clothing…but that opportunity will sink as she grows up and starts to look more like her mom. as a matter of fact, I cannot even fathom why she is still there! Cheyenne and her mother…there is talent..and a good working relationship.mutual respect, she might not have the “it” factor, but she can definitely act. Now two that have been sent home are succeeding…..cameron and haley ( lisa) both working in the art and doing well……that has to say something about bonaduce’s ability to see talent don’t you think? Stage mothers out there…remember these are children…not adults, don’t take that away from them……they can still succeed and be a kid! lighten up!