Tila, we had hoped that the producers of A Shot at Love would have improved their casting process for season 2. It is clear that they have not. With this new batch of contestants, A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila 2 will be nearly indistinguishable from a Cops episode filmed during spring break in Florida — except it might be more dangerous. Frankly, we’re worried for your safety. Please reconsider moving your show from MTV to VH1. We can do better.
You started the premiere by asking the supposedly straight men and supposedly gay women vying for your heart to step into cages. This was a wise decision. But you should have kept them there. Allow us to remind you how your suitors behaved while caged (one exposed her breasts and another let his penis swing freely through the air as he danced):
After the cage stunt, far too much air time was wasted on interviewing the contestants. Please tell your producers that you should be the focus of the camera, not your dimwitted pursuers. You are a diminutive beauty. You make hearts skip beats. You have a contagious enthusiasm for life. You say clever things. Not so your potential love interests! Their mouths should be taped shut for the remainder of the season! Below, please take the time to read our comments on their sad words.
Lisa says: “I’m a regular girl from Jersey.”
We say: Lisa, regular girls from New Jersey don’t dance in cages. Err, maybe they do?
Nick says: “Seeing Tila for the first time, it was, like, almost seeing Jesus.”
We say: Nick, we adore Tila. We understand Tila better than you ever will. But comparing Tila to Jesus is odd, to say the least. We don’t see the similarities.
Kristy says: “I could fall in love with Tila.”
We say: Kristy, you could fall in love with a donkey if it were in your cage.
Jay says: “The first thing that I thought when I saw Tila come out with those gold booty shorts was like boing boing boing boing my f**cking dick flew up in the air.”
We say: Jay, your dick flying up in the air is not a thought; it’s an action, and probably not one that’s very impressive.
Brittany says: “The guys were like monkeys [upon arriving at the house].”
We say: Not a bad observation, for a sports bar waitress from San Diego.
Serenity says: “Honestly, I’m probably going to pee my pants [when I meet Tila].”
We say: We do not doubt this for a second.
Janny says: “When Tila came out of the house, I was, like, so shocked, i was, like [sticks tongue out].”
We say: Tila, do not allow her anywhere near your ass. She may start sniffing it.
Chad says: “Lickety split them lesbians. They’re done.”
Chad also says: “Chicks love wang bone. Why do you think they have strap-ons and things in that nature, to simulate wang bones, which i come stocked with.”
We say: Tila, tape his mouth shut. Now!
The rest of the premiere, Tila, was filled with tedious cat fights and males puffing up their chests in an attempt to achieve some kind of hierarchical social status. It isn’t worth writing about all of the drama. The following photo galleries should suffice.
Tila Tequila’s Make Out Sessions:
Who Tila Eliminated in the Premiere:
69 responses to to Tila Tequila’s Animals Have Caged Sex (Season 2 Premiere Recap)
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I dont think Tila Tequila likes black people to much.
those hate comments came from a same person with many different nicks
This person is a sicko who’s too jealous at Tila’s success and achievements
This jealous hater is a psycho and is an ugly fat ~#* woman
This jealous ugly woman hates Tila so much that she spent all of her time searching Tila’s video on youtube , watching Tila’s show religiously and searching Tila’s name every where on the internet
come on , woman , you need to learn to get over your jealousy of other people’s success
Tila is a fine , cute and smart little lady , she deserves all the good things in her life
Stop being too jealous at Tila and leave her alone , B!TCHES !
Tila is so ugly .. that … Bobby was so in love with her !
Tila is so ugly that Kyle’s stalking her and following her every where
Tila is so ugly that she was spotted at a mall by a Playboy scout
Tila is so ugly that Playboy offered her a lot of money to model for their Magazine but she declined
After Playboy hounded her to do it , Tila Tequila finally accepted their offer
and she was Playboy’s Asian Cyber Girl of the Month
Tila is so ugly that she got paid a lot of money to pose her picture all over the covers of several magazine such as :
.. †Stuff , Maxim , Maxim UK , Time , Penthouse , Import Tuner , Playboy , Rolling Stone , YRB Magazine , Ralph Magazine Australia , BLENDER MAGAZINE , Spike TV , Fuse TV , … †and 3 more Magazine Covers Coming Soon !
Tila is so ugly and talentless that she was offered a role as host of the Fuse TV show Pants-Off Dance-Off and now the star of MTV Reality’s number 1 hit shows called .. †A Shot At Love â€
Tila’s newest photos :
http://www.celebrity-gossip.net/celebrity_gallery/image_full/67655/
Stay tuned ! … more Tila’s coming soon …
… LOL @ the JEALOUS LOSERS
Spoiler ALERT***********************
Tila gives Kristy the key, which she takes then drops it….So there will be a season 3!!!
Just because MTV has there ways of making Ashot of love more interesting and obviously making you all jealous doesn’t mean that MTV should go by YOUR rules. Sure Bret’s version of Rock of Love was totally awesome. But hay MTV IS NOT VH1. LET IT BE WHAT IT BE.
tila is so hot and with her boobs i just feel like grabing them
by the way im bi and shes so hot HOT HOT HOT HOT
dani
your
stupid
and
gay
cause
u
dont
like
tila
so
it
means
that
ur gay
and your
boyfriend
is
micheal
jackson
Dear
Chad
and Jay
i hate your _!^# ing guts
and you better
hope that you
sleep well for the next
few months because after
i get a hold of you, you will
be beggin to die
i _!^# ing hate you both your egotistical _!^# ing duesch bags and are a waste of sperm
and air, chad your &&^& is probly about as big as your
ugly ^#` nose, and jay just get it over with and _!^# chad…
Hes nuts are already in so far down your throat its not even funny, _!^# you both and i hope chad your &&^& gets cut off bc thats all youve got going for you “allegedly”
and Jay jersey this jersey that do you know how _!^# ing `&+&`+ ed you sound _!^# ing `&+&`+ if ya love jersey so much _!^# ing STAY THERE!!! and brag about how good it is because frankly its the +~~@ tiest _!^# ing state ive been to and ive only been to 8 states, _!^# Kansas has more on Jersey lol get over
yourself your both _!^# ing muscle heads and maybe you guys can go work on
your muscles to take everyones eyes your ugly ^#` faces , both of you can _!^# ing suck on my dogs left nut! Tila is way out of your league go _!^# some drunk `()&& es , and maybe some day your &&^& s will shrivel up and fall off you skeezy _!^# ing _*^#%(@ s.
Chad and Jay are complete &#`+ suckers and deserve to burn in hell, come on now tila , your asian your supposed to be smart, if you cant see through these &#`+ y conceited %_(+ s who ever Kill chad n Jay is thank you , they need to date each other bc thats about the only person they are going to be able to have a stable relationship with.. chad can bang Jay with his “huge” +++@@ while jay references the Jersey Anthem…. i have already started a search for those #%#@_+ s and soon its going to be ok they will not be a threat to anyone or anything,
love sniper
ps. Kyle yes you are a creeper, but im sure pink mohawk guy is still available di do do la do
what I think is funny bout this stupid _+~ show is tha fact that she try ta act like she got a man side but yet when ereyone get in a fight she cries, what bout las season, when ashley an that one foo marcus got in a fight she sat on tha side an cried, an how bout when those 2 gurls fought, she cried then too. She neva went ta see bo oa whoeva it was that was in tha hospital, im sorry but if im lookan fo love (which Is already got it, but if i aint got it, i sho as hell wouldnt put it on tv), not only that, but not only that if i was lookan fo love an some busta it up one a ma dudes that i was likan than i would stop production ta go see him, ya know what im sayan. oh an telia, if you wanna know how ta REALLY shake yo _+~ hit me up an ill show hows ta really do it but furst, you gotta grow a _+~ its hard ta shake it if you aint got it. oakcliff peacan out
I LOVE YOU TILA AND I THINK THE ONE FOR YOU IS KRISTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BC NOT ONLY IS SHE HOT SHE KNOWS HOW TO TAKE CARE OF A LADY
she bi and i am bi and being bi is good i love being bi
DAMN GIRLS YALL FREAKS I ANT GOING TO LIE I LOOKING FOR A SEX #$&`@!@~*#%~*+&% ING PARTNER
TILA TEQUILA I WANT TO EAT YOUR `%_$*_`(((%+__%(& OUT AND HAVE HARDCORE SEX
TILA I WANT TO EAT YOUR )%&!&$~`&&$~$`($@ OUT AND HAVE HADRCORE SEX
hi if you like man and wonman why did you put both man or a lady.
if i were one of thim i will be happy,
Tilla I wanna have sex with u.
I found this site on another forum and thought I would share it here. You have to see it to believe it. Its just wild!!! http://bit.ly/1K2LDE
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69 responses to to Tila Tequila’s Animals Have Caged Sex (Season 2 Premiere Recap)