Tila Tequila Courted With Striptease Acts, Farts (Episode 2 Recap)
“All my stripper friends. All my ex-boyfriends. We all want the same thang.”
Tila, your lyrics for the theme song to A Shot at Love 2 don’t make sense. You should be singing, “All my stripper whores. All my farm animals. We all want the same thing.” Only you don’t want the same thing. We believe that you’re looking for love, whereas others on your show have baser motives. Not only did the contestant named Fame use the camera as if she were auditioning for American Idol, Chad had the gall to say: “I’m more excited about moving into Tila than I am about moving into the house.” Tila, Chad has probably “moved into” sheep and horses have probably “moved into” him. Sorry to be crass. But do not touch Chad. Not even a hug.
When the girls and guys first mingle in Episode 2 it is apparent that most of the guys live sadly sheltered lives. Take Dominic, for example. He believes that “there is no such thing as a lesbian.” Tila, do you realize that Dominic does not respect your gay side? Allow us to show Dominic that lesbianism is real (and thriving):
This brings us to your obvious attraction to Sirbina (pictured above and below), which is very understandable. Not only is she one of the most attractive contestants in the house but she appears to be halfway normal. But we’re worried that there’s little more than raw attraction between the two of you. You spoke a mere two sentences (”You’re adorable” and “I’m going to eat you up”) before unleashing on her an orgiastic flurry of pent up lesbian lust:
It was as if no one else in the house existed. Only Sirbina. Sirbina’s pretty face. Sirbina’s sweet smile. Sirbina’s perfectly sculpted lesbian body pressed tightly against your perfectly sculpted bisexual one. Tila, why not bail on A Shot at Love right now and bring Sirbina with you back to VH1? Together, we will make a lifetime of magic through a series of new shows. The first will feature you getting to know Sirbina intimately. The next will be an educational show about a lesbian couple raising children. The third will be about two femme lesbian lovers who begin to lose their sexual appetite for one another after hitting their 40s. And the last show will be about the twilight of your lives - only this program may have to air on PBS or the Oxygen channel.
Anyway, as you were macking all over Sirbina, Kyle interrupted. Tila, he’s scary. The look in his eyes is that of a deranged stalker. And you are the target. Eliminate him ASAP. In the meantime, please be careful. Kyle also interrupted your alone time with Lisa, who astutely compared him to Jeffrey Dahmer. Could she be on to something?
Let’s check out some of Kyle’s creepier expressions. Remember, in each of these pictures his eyes are trained on you as if he’s studying prey.
After getting your suitors all liquored up in your faux casino, you had them play a game of “strip dice,” which looked like this:
George and Kristy won the challenge and were selected to join you in your private club, which, of course, has a full bar and two stripper poles. You asked George to explain what he looks for in a woman. His hilarious response:
Mostly physical attraction is key. I mean, I’m not very tall. So, I mean, you being short, definitely matches with me.
Tila, you correctly observed that George “doesn’t have a deeper side to him.” But he would need to mate with a hairy kumquat to have a perfect match. When the rest of the crew joined the three of you in your private club, chaos ensued. Samantha took to the stripper pole like a real pro.
Then Chad simulated a climax with a beer bottle.
Then the cops were called because of all the noise your potential lovers were making.
As for eliminations, you kicked Fame (the wannabe Idol singer) and Christian (the drunk) to the curb. We approve of your decision. But Kyle has to be next to go.
P.S. Tila, you should also be aware that Chad is trying to impress his bedmates by spreading his legs over his head and passing gas. Sexy, right?
Related Content:
Tila Tequila’s Animals Have Caged Sex
A Shot of Love 2 page on MTV
VH1 Wants Tila Tequila
April 30th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
kyle wasn’t the one who passed gas it was chad. as u can see in the photo.
April 30th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
this is some freaky $_)_ come and kiss me like that
April 30th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
this girl is soooo fake…by the way isn’t that the same house they taped rock of love in???? she is only doing this show for tv time not to find what she wants
April 30th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Wow that is hot!
April 30th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Tila you are an
ABOMINATION
You are ugly, you ahve died your hair so much and put on so much makeup noone can tell your race. Are you hwite, are you black,
OH I know what you are
Your a &!(~(
April 30th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Tila do you have AIDs, because my cousin has it, and he swore he slept with you in New York.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Do you have a perscribed medicine for your disease ^+`((
April 30th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Tila isn’t worth her 15 minutes of fame.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Does your discharge ooze or pour, bipuddingoo do you know what that means. I’m begging you not to sit on the toilets in public restrooms.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
So you date girls and guys
Do you date morphadikes too
April 30th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Didn’t Tila suck up her 15minutes of fame like a half an hour ago? Her show is just downright disgusting. Why on earth would Vh1 want it?
April 30th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
I guess VH1 really wants Tila back if they are recapping her show on their blog. I like it though, because the blogger person makes the recaps really funny. I love reading the recaps. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 30th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Tila is just a runaway hoodrat from texas who wasnt doing anything with her life but sucking c@ck! she made a lot of loser friends on my space who had nothing to do but jerk off to her wh@ore wannabe music videos she cant sing shes not even that pretty with out make up its pretty scary she looks like some crooked eye no eyebrow having frekeled face slut. Get a real reason to be on tv not just exposing the hoodrat you really are. I’m glad bobby dumped your `@& like they say you cant turn a h@e in to a house wife. Good luck carpet munching nasty skank.
May 1st, 2008 at 2:28 am
Tila, i know your life is your business, but your a friggin slut. Its not even funny to have a show on TV that magnifies on promiscuous behavior like this, and you make gays and lesbians look very very BAD. Not all of us are screwing anything that walks!
May 1st, 2008 at 9:58 am
me and my friends think tila is nothing but a little hoe and needs to think more highly of your self!!!!!!!!! her music is good though
May 1st, 2008 at 10:42 am
Tila is a hoe.. She is not even a real celeb.. She became famous from myspace i mean come on ppl.. If u need a show to find love. then maybe your to problem.. This show is so fake, and makes Tila look like a hoe and a slut..
May 1st, 2008 at 11:29 am
DON’T HATE SHE’S ONLY MAKING THAT MONEY…….
May 1st, 2008 at 1:00 pm
How can anyone enjoy watching this smut?? I mean yeah I watched a few episode cause there was nothing else on TV but Damn. Did they have to Bring this skank back on?? IS she even Bi? THis show is a DESPERATE cry for ratings. She’s just one of those wanna bees that put up Slutty pics of themselves showing off they fake t**S on MYSPACE!! This B***ch doesn’t want love she wants money and the little attention shes getting from these MTV morons. WHAT IS THIS GENERATION OF TELEVISION COMING TOO? What a disgrace.
May 1st, 2008 at 1:00 pm
How can anyone enjoy watching this smut?? I mean yeah I watched a few episode cause there was nothing else on TV but Damn. Did they have to Bring this skank back on?? IS she even Bi? THis show is a DESPERATE cry for ratings. She’s just one of those wanna bees that put up Slutty pics of themselves showing off they fake t**S on MYSPACE!! This B***ch doesn’t want love she wants money and the little attention shes getting from these MTV morons. WHAT IS THIS GENERATION OF TELEVISION COMING TOO?
May 1st, 2008 at 2:28 pm
This show is just ridiculous! Basically, she is trying to be like Bret even with the same house painted a different color. Most of the people in the house are idiots! Yeah, showing footage of some dude farting in bed, real entertainment….? Seriously, who the hell would want to compete for a bi-sexual and question themselves constantly? Let me guess what happens. She will pick another guy and that will not work so she can have another crappy show next season. What is she even famous for, having my space friends? Come on VH1 you can do better than this crap. At least Rock of Love seemed somewhat real. This show seems like you are pushing the buttons to see what you can get away with on TV. It is totally scriped and fake!
May 1st, 2008 at 7:09 pm
all i can say is HAAAAAAAAATERS!!!!!
If you don’t like the show, don’t watch it. it’s that freakin’ simple!!!! plus it is only entertainment c’mon now!!!
May 1st, 2008 at 7:29 pm
LMFAO!!! it’s so freakin funny to read how many people hate tila….oh damn what a good laugh…plus all the other shows on VH1 are the same…i bet most these blogs are from women….LADIES don’t hate!!! like i said before if you don’t like it CHANGE THE FREAKIN CHANNEL!!!!!!! all it takes is one click and c’mon BELLE if there was nothing to watch on cable put a freakin DVD in or read a freakin book so next time you wouldn’t have to BˆTCH about the damn show!!!
May 1st, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Tile needs Jesus! You are an abmonination, a skank and you lie, you tell people your italian b@ooch you are veitmenise who was raised in Tx. You are nothing but a hooker who probably would be hookin around if some money hungr sleeze bag didnt see your untalented singing and slutty pics on my space. You wont be around long! U freeken one hit wonder
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:45 am
Tila is too wild to settle down. VH 1 You can do better than this.
May 2nd, 2008 at 9:46 am
THAT IS SO NASTY GIRL PICK ONE A GIRL OR A BOY BECAUSE THE POEPLE ON YOUR SHOW IS WAISTING THERE TIME TRY TO BE WITH YOU AND YOUR UP THERE WAISTING THERE PERES TIME TRY TO SEE IF YOU WANT A GIRL OR A BOY I CAN’T LY AND SAY YOU ART UGLY YOU IS PRETTY BUT PICK ONE PLEASE. LOVE ,JESSICA
May 2nd, 2008 at 11:27 am
CORRECTION : … Chad is the one who’s spreading his legs over his head and passing gas … the picture above is Chad … NOT Kyle ! … Chad farted in bed , NOT Kyle !!! … please edit and correct or adjust it !
May 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 am
those hate comments came from one person with many different nicks
This person is a sicko who’s too jealous at Tila’s success and achievements
This jealous hater is a psycho and is an ugly fat ~#* woman
This jealous ugly woman hates Tila so much that she spent all of her time searching Tila’s video on youtube , watching Tila’s show religiously and searching Tila’s name every where on the internet
come on , woman , you need to learn to get over your jealousy of other people’s success
Tila is a fine , cute and smart little lady , she deserves all the good things in her life
Stop being too jealous at Tila and leave her alone , (#)(% es !
May 2nd, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Tila is so ugly .. that … Bobby was so in love with her !
Tila is so ugly that Kyle’s stalking her and following her every where
Tila is so ugly that she was spotted at a mall by a Playboy scout
Tila is so ugly that Playboy offered her a lot of money to model for their Magazine but she declined
After Playboy hounded her to do it , Tila Tequila finally accepted their offer
and she was Playboy’s Asian Cyber Girl of the Month
Tila is so ugly that she got paid a lot of money to pose her picture all over the covers of several magazine such as :
.. ” Stuff , Maxim , Maxim UK , Time , Penthouse , Import Tuner , Playboy , Rolling Stone , YRB Magazine , Ralph Magazine Australia , BLENDER MAGAZINE , Spike TV , Fuse TV , … ” and 3 more Magazine Covers Coming Soon !
Tila is so ugly and talentless that she was offered a role as host of the Fuse TV show Pants-Off Dance-Off and now the star of MTV Reality’s number 1 hit shows called .. ” A Shot At Love ”
Tila’s newest photos :
http://www.celebrity-gossip.net/celebrity_gallery/image_full/67655/
Stay tuned ! … more Tila’s coming soon …
… LOL @ the jealous haters
May 4th, 2008 at 8:46 am
Tila is nasty, I came across this show watched it briefly and who would want to kiss this woman, I was fullygrossed out she’s just completely sickening and so are the people on the show, just completly groessed out by it, sorry but she is a pig.
May 4th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
if you don’t like her then don’t watch her show , change the channel
why do you keep watching her show and searching her name on the internet ?
and why are you even reading her show’s Recap on this blog ?
go away ! sh … sh … are you human or animal ?
why are you so stupid ? do you understand human language ?
go away , don’t watch her show and stop searching for her name
May 7th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
I don’t think tila is after true love because she is a player and is just after fame using an excuse and i bet she broke the heart of the first contestant winner and she kept saying she was hurt. Bull. Check tila, i found some *@`* that out on her that shocked me and showed me she is a fake. And my friend tells me that this was shot recently http://www.youporn.com/watch/178926
May 10th, 2008 at 1:54 am
DO NOT CLICK ON THAT LINK BELOW
THAT LINK CONTAINS VIRUS AND SPYWARE
May 21st, 2008 at 8:18 pm
dani says or wat eva your name is get a life @!@+` okay because tilla tequila is a @!@+` and if you wanna sleep with her go find before i jone your *+) out white boy you must havent seen my othe blogs from this bull $“! that’s fake a annoying to me big ups to the ones that dont like her i feel yall all the way
May 21st, 2008 at 8:22 pm
tomcruise how do you know thats fake and your not the real tom cruise either $`)*& look i have a real anger problem and you all are dumbs *@) $`)*& es on this tila tequila #@`! so kiss *@) you fake nobdy tomcruise wanna be lol
May 29th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Chad and Bo,you guys seem so childish for that peice of bullshit.you should both be ashamed of yourselves.Tila shouldv’e elimanted both of you.especially you Bo.you shouldv’e never walked up in Chads’ face like that.I wouldv’e beat that @)_ too,shit.and Chad,fareal,you didn’t have to headbutt him like that,fareal doe bra.but I still don’t blame you for beatin that @)_ Tila,you are an @)_ hole for not elimanating Bo too.if you woulv’e watched the film,then you wouldv’e seen that Bo shouldn’t have put Chads’ name in the (*+* that got caught up with Bo and Jay.that was some *~!( ed up (*+*
June 26th, 2008 at 9:55 am
wtf was kyle thinking hes a major creep!
June 26th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
you are pretty but this time I was going to say that you should pick a girl or you will fight with bo. but since bo is cute it doesn’t matter who u pick anymore.
August 25th, 2008 at 8:40 am
Let me begin by saying that i really like your site blog.vh1.com a lot
now.. back on topic hehe
I cant say that i agree with what you wrote… care to explain deeper?
May 15th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
tila tequila is an effing @`)@&~!^~+)!$`$+~