American Idol’s Neil Diamond week was a brutal trial for the young hopefuls, a chance to show just how poorly they could perform songs with which they had only the most passing of acquaintance. (“Sweet Caroline” notwithstanding, Diamond’s tunes are hardly American classics; mentorship on Idol has never seemed so much a PR opportunity as it did this week – dude’s got a new disc coming next week.)

There was no Paula craziness, and though no contestants performed perfectly, three were poorer than the rest:

Jason Castro, who mumbled his way through a sleepy “Forever in Blue Jeans” and “September Morn”; Brooke White, who partially redeemed the abysmal “I’m a Believer” with “I Am, I Said”; and Syesha Mercado, whose vulnerable “Hello Again” couldn’t mask the musical-theater quality of her follow-up, “Thank the Lord for the Nighttime.”

Idol’s results shows are known to stretch thin material over a full hour to draw out suspense; last night’s was among the worst example of this yet. Natasha Bedingfield dropped by to voice her crush on David Archuleta. Neil Diamond sung a song from the new CD, but given his mopey performance, it’s hard to imagine that viewers would be inspired to do what no American has done in around five years: buy a record. The highlight was Simon’s first kiss, Tara Miller, phoning in from California to cash in her fifteen minutes of fame, but apparently snogging the 9-year-old Simon is only worth around two minutes and a half; at least, that’s all she got.

Which of the singers was dumped? The Davids, as usual, were safe. Jason, easily this week’s lamest contestant, was too—his teen fan base is stronger, week by week, than logic allows; he’s the dude who’ll pose a legitimate threat to one of the Davids’ eventual win.

On the bottom were Syesha and Brooke, and frankly it could have gone either way—but it’s Brooke, at long last, who is sent – sniffle, sniffle - home. Waxing even more emotionally than Carly did last week, Brooke bid adieu to the audience, the judges, and America. She was an able enough contestant, but never, for better or worse, had the chops to be a winner. Her sunny presence will be missed, but in its last weeks, Idol means business and has no time for also-rans. When Syesha is, in all likelihood, voted off next week, the contest we’ve been waiting for all season will truly begin: the battle royale between Jason and the Davids (although some are wondering if David Cook as got what it takes to be a rock Idol). Who will come out on top? There’s only one way to tell—stay tuned.

—Matthew Schneier


Tags: American Idol•Television