Dead!

When we open, Chiba is going on and on about how wonderful Lionezz’s accomplishment was even though she was just sent home because English wasn’t her first language and blah blah blah.

You can see that Lady Twist is fascinated.

Speaking of the L.T., we get a little more back story on her. She’s a journalism student who just happens to love performing and always has.

Lady Twist has, hands down, the best archival footage of anyone who appeared on this show. I’d dare to say that old video of her 11-year-old-self strutting around rivals “The Gas Face,” even.

Soon enough, today’s pageant challenge is upon us:

Yay! Puppets! Double yay: stacked puppets!

The guest judge is brought in and he’s none other than:

Director John Singleton. Wooooow! He asks if any of the girls have acting experience and Chiba states that she recently filmed three movies. This, in turn, causes some musing from the show itself:

Today’s challenge will call on the girls to read from a hop-hop-ified version of Hamlet:

Practicing commences:

Chiba reads with a reads with a British accent and explains that she was going for “that England or that British sound.” What, no backbeat?

The girls go, one-by-one, as you do with monologues:

Nicky2States and Lady Twist sell the monologue best, so they are named captains. Ms. Cherry, Chiba and Bree end up on Twist’s team, while Byata and Rece Steele go with Nicky.

Then, guess who Byata is talking about…

The drama with Chiba is unending. Lady Twist is clearly worn out by it (aren’t we all?) and she attempts to make peace. She offers to set up a round table. Why not a panel? Nobody likes this idea and Chiba basically tells her to shut up after she presses with the peace-making.

Awww. Look how sad that made her! Twist says, “It’s either get intoxicated or cuss everybody out. Intoxicated it is!” Chiba is driving people to drink!

And the drama in general is pretty much driving Twist away. After getting apparently fall-down drunk, Twist has a conversation with a young woman we’re told is a “friend” the next day:

Interesting, for a variety of reasons.

Then, it’s challenge time:

The girls have an hour to write a hook, a verse and a dance and perform it as a group. I’m sorry, but no matter what anyone writes, it’s not going to even touch the awesomeness of Lady Twist’s T-shirt:

I think that T-shirt is for people who are awesome enough to let their awesome flow.

Rehearsals begin. Chiba dominates Team Twist and the whole team wants their dance to involve sweeping the floor, which is hard for a big girl like Twist. Frustration ensues.

Nicky’s team seems to have a much better time, and she offers us a preview of their direction: “Move the body. Move, move. Sweat, have fun. Pulse. Bass. Like, that’s the kinda dancing I like. Nastay!”

You will not hear me complaining about that one. After entering a venue complete with breakers…

…the teams go.

The Team Twist hook involves throwing your hands up and sweeping the floor. So it’s a rusty hook, then?

Team 2States performs and their hook involves throwing your hands in the air and waving them around like you just don’t care. I wouldn’t do so for fear of angry hip-hop fans with scythes who’ve heard this shout-out one too many times. But you should listen to that file just to hear Nicky2States’ awesome verse, which is all about shaking her ass…

…and which includes the use of the word “acapello,” which is so hip-house that I fell in love with her on the spot. Go Team 2States!

Apparently the judges agree, because it’s Nicky’s team that wins (though it was a close race, Team 2States edged out for being more together). Rece Steele is named Lady of Stage…

…and waiting for her at home is the best prize yet:

He’s kinda the opposite of that 50 Cent sex doll from a few episodes back: you don’t f*** him, he f***s with you. Listen to his ode, or just follow along with the lyrics below:

And it’s not till now that Rece says, “That’s f***ed up.” Otter and walrus comparisons - fine. But don’t ever tell a woman she smells like a hot dog. Let this be a lesson to all.

Meanwhile, as everyone’s taking in the silliness of the Thug Crooner…

…the Chib stands alone. You gotta admit: you feel kinda bad for her for being so ostracized.

Elimination is upon us. Since they lost, Team Twist will have to write a verse that devotes at least four bars to drama in the house.

Ms. Cherry’s verse underlines her determination to win this competition.

Lady Twist’s obliquely covers her peace-making efforts.

Bree’s is my personal favorite — it gets super raw about the scars of her past and brilliantly segues to how it affects her present. Why didn’t anyone else get that?

And Chiba’s is pretty aggressive and fraught with a memory lapse.

YoYo and Serch deliberate: Cherry brought it, but Twist didn’t (it was hard to even tell what she was talking about). Chiba’s emotions are getting in the way of her performance. YoYo thought Bree’s rhyming was iffy, but Serch loved the excavation of her past. In the end, it comes down to Twist and Chiba and Twist leaves. B-b-but, she was so talented and this was her first slip-up! WTF?

A visibly upset Twist talks about her surprise at getting so emotional upon elimination. “But I guess underneath all this, I’m still a girl. What the hell.” That’s probably a good lesson to have learned for when you have to pee.

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