Tila Tequila’s Team Gobbles Pig Vaginas

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Here’s a list of the top five most awesomely bad moments of episode 3 of A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila 2.

1. CHAD CAN’T FETCH A BALL

For the second year in a row, Tila Tequila split her wooers by sex and made the two groups face off in a “bi-athalon.” Among the athletic challenges, contestants were forced to dip their heads into an inflatable pool and use their mouths to pick up balls with symbols corresponding to their sex. Chad should have had an advantage in this exercise of fetching, considering that he has the brain power and disposition of a dog. But he couldn’t find the correct ball and began to bite the side of the pool out of frustration. In the meantime, the girls ate away at the boys’ lead and then won the challenge. Chad claimed later that the “snot rockets” floating in the pool prevented him from completing the task. But we’re talking about a guy whose idea of fun is to raise his legs over his head in bed and pass gas. Chad could probably bath in snot without being phased. Could it be that he doesn’t know the difference between a male and female symbol?

2. TILA TEQUILA IS A NAUGHTY SCHOOL TEACHER

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We all know that Tila looks great in a bikini and that she knows her way around a stripper pole. But who could have guessed that she would raise the bar in the worn-out “naughty teacher” genre of sex fantasies. This is the only moment in last night’s show that wasn’t awesomely bad, but just plain awesome. After the girls won the bi-athalon, Tila proved that no one makes a hotter teacher than she. It was as if every lesbian in her classroom had reverted to the 8th grade, their hormone-riddled minds bombarded with thoughts of Tila throwing off her reading glasses, unpinning her hair, unzipping her business skirt, and unleashing her stripper-esque cleavage on them in one-on-one sessions after school.

3. THE ULTIMATE PANTY RAID

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Being sore losers of the bi-athalon (not to mention having the mentality of puppy dogs and grade schoolers), the boys decided to go on the “ultimate panty raid” while the girls were being schooled in Tila’s classroom. This makes the list of awesomely bad moments only in that the girls’ reaction to it was awesomely stupid and hysterical.

“You don’t do that to a girl,” said Lisa.
“I could not be more livid!” exclaimed V.
“Your mother’s a ho,” screamed Kristy to Jay. “I will kick [your] ass.”

What!? Tila forced these girls to strip off their clothes and simulate sex in a cage and yet a panty raid is what sets them off? Please.

4. SAMANTHA’S “GLITTER” WASHED AWAY BY TEARS

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Samantha, nicknamed “Glitter” because she pastes the substance onto her eyelids, displayed a fit of weeping never-before-seen on reality television. Her hunched over frame heaved and shook. The ground underneath her became drenched in tears and she appeared to hyperventilate. The cause? The “meanness” in the house was “unbearable” and “overwhelming.” Having to fight in Iraq or having your village flattened by a tropical cyclone would feel overwhelming and unbearable. But a bit of screaming between a bunch of hormone-fueled boys and girls who are competing for one sex kitten named Tila Tequila? Again, please.

5. TILA FORCES HER SEX CAPTIVES TO EAT PIG VAGINAS

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Last season’s feast on bull penis was sickening. But this season’s equivalent challenge was even worse. It started by Tila splitting up the boys and girls and making them compete to see which group could drink the most shots of unidentified noxious concoctions like mustard and canola oil. This resulted in a puking fest that was utterly revolting to watch. The women, of course, won the challenge, and were “rewarded” with a breakout competition to see who could eat a pig’s vagina the fastest. (Lisa, the butchiest of the bunch, gobbled up the vagina the fastest and won alone time with Tila.) Is this A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila or Fear Factor? What’s next? Is Tila going to make them have sex with each other in a den filled with snakes? Now that would be television! Stay tuned.

  1. bachelorettepartygirl says:

    I was just reading this chick’s blog and it mentioned Tila. It was pretty hilarious. You should totally check it out!

    http://www.lisagopman.blogspot.com

  2. www.intimatemingle.com says:

    It’s so funny. I often watch some funny videos and photos on I n t i m a t e m i n g l e DOT C o M It said that there are some hot star such as Britney’s photoes and videos there.

  3. Joann says:

    NO what was gross is this:

    HER freaking *!~^^@ When she was at the “prom” she had on this short red dress and was taking pictures with each one of the guys. This one guy picked her up and her dress came up. She was not wearing underwear and you saw it all. It was quick, but you saw her black pubic hair and all.

    Shie is one clazzy lady. LOL

  4. Ken aka Myspacecelebrity says:

    Tila is definitely Hott!! I would definitely love to go on the show and win her heart. I would bet everything that I love that I could.

    see me here http://youtube.com/watch?v=WFka8-pk6rQ

    Can someone help me find the love of my life?

    you can also see me @ http://www.myspace.com/myspacecelebrity001

  5. nancy p says:

    she is degrading the asian community with this ridiculous show,,,,

    thank you and have a nice day…..
    i know asians and they have much more respect and dignity then this tila whoever or wherever she came from

  6. GG says:

    THAT SH*T IS STUPID. I WOULDVE BEEN LIKE WHY N THE HELL WOULD U WANT ALL OF US TO EAT THIS FOR U, U F-ING SKANK. SORRY BOUT THAT BUT WHO DO THESE PEOPLE ON THE DATING SHOWS THINK THEY R??? I KNOW ITS A GAME AND IM SURE MONEY IS INVOLVED BUT COME ON!!!

  7. Change the station says:

    People will do the dumbest things to be on TV.

  8. DAVANTE says:

    lOOK AT THIS BIG PIG (!)#

  9. MizzJacquetta says:

    Man, THAT’s SICK!!!!!

  10. sheena says:

    it’s funny that these people are so desperate to show their admiration for someone who obviously couldnt care less about them. If someone tried to make me eat a pig _#)#+% i would next their *`~ quick.

  11. vanessa says:

    ALLL THIS FOR THIS WORE DOWN SKANK WHAT A BUNCH OF TWATS

  12. caylin says:

    that is so nasty how could you eat that?????????????

  13. VIXEN says:

    The grossest thing is that after all that puking and the eating of pig vajay-jay’s she still wants to suck face with them. This show is sooo degrading. After the last show I swore I wouldn’t watch it again, because Tila’s so fake, but I can’t help it. It’s like watching a train wreck.
    I also think the producers are setting her up to choose a girl this time. The guys here are all immature losers! And what’s up with Glitter? She is naggingly annoying!

  14. TREE says:

    OMG, she looks so hot. It seems that girl is dating online now. I saw her profile on dating site “W e a l t h y lo v I n g . c o m” last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.

  15. dave says:

    This is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. Pig’s @(%$*+ vh1 should be ashamed of itself.

  16. monica says:

    All i have is 3 things to ask and 3 things only,how could u guys (and girls)do that kind of stuff?,can u still taste it ,and if u can’t taste it anymore,how did u get rid of the smell and the taste?

  17. eve says:

    How,and why a pig’s v$@#$%,i mean how in the world did Tila Tequila get thoses pig’s v#$%^@ and man that was just plan disgusting Tila!!!!!!! And i really fell bad 4 the people who actually had to eat that s@#* man!!!! Well,no i don’t because i’m glad that wasn’t me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. DMalenfant says:

    If these people are dumb enough to do this for her, well then they deserve it, and anyone else who would disrespect themselves for her laughter.
    I love you Tila, but not for the same reason as every other swinging d!ck, but for the same reasons that I love Bill O’rielly. You help me identify the rejects in the world that watch your show, you let them feel safe to show how backward, worthless, and waste of air they are before I actually have to waste my time to find that out. I thank you for this, people like you are a real blessing (not really) and when you fall to drugs, get fat, get into a bad accident, turn 30, or just simply become yesterday’s news, there will be another bimbo who is just as worthless as yourself, ready to take your glory and pass on the stupidity :D.
    God bless you (yeah right) and have a nice day (along with herpes).

  19. ASHLEY says:

    TILA IS A NASTY SICK HOE WHO IS HORNY AND OBNOXIOUS SHE LOOK NASTY AND SHE LOOK LIKE MY KIDS BRAT DOLL SHE SHORT WITH A BIG GIANT ROUND HEAD. WHO THE HELL SIGNED UP TO EAT BALLS AND ^~%#* AND WHO HAS A SHOW THAT LIKES WOMEN AND MEN SHE IS ONE CONFUSED SOUL LET ME PRAY FOR HER CAUSE SHE NEED GOD.

  20. Sexy Sheep says:

    The only way Tila can get a pig’s ~)~!~$ is to buy one. Even the pigs don’t want her ugly azz.

  21. Dmalenfant's Fan says:

    I agree with Dmalenfant. . . you are so right. . .

  22. PANTY RAID says:

    SHE CAN EAT MY SHORTS. TILA SUCKS.

  23. Michele says:

    This is my first and last blog on TT – - I’ve never actually seen a show, but I did see her interview on Chelsea Lately.

    Tina is, well, there’s no other word to use… VILE.

    WHO gives a rip how/where/who/why/when Toilet-ina (Tina for short) has instances of touch – genitally or otherwise? So like, there’s a crillion people in the world – can we let them have intimate touch the old-fashioned way – PRIVATELY. Notwithstanding all the celebrity sex tapes now whirling about and forever in the universe.

    What next? Is the Devil getting his own reality show? Step It Up and Lance?

    Tina is a non-descript, untalented, boring, run-of-the-mill, everyday, dime-a-dozen, nothing special mentally ill person who is in dire need of some very fine counseling.

    Tina – masturbation? sex? no kidding – uh, DUH, how do you think the world came to be THIS POPULATED you dork. What next, a Tina I-eat-too show? You know, where you actually eat food? To stay alive? On this planet? With other people?

    Oh God help us all. Just say NO!!!!! to this WebCam Disaster. Tina, if you need this much attention, just go get some more mirrors.

  24. Cece says:

    nasty but you wanna see somethin more nasty
    black is nasty she took pics semi-naked she aint nothin like deelishis
    so no one betta say dat she like deelishis or i’ll kick you _*+ sssssssss
    and plus all she did was pose for smooth
    thats nothin compared to this. Check this out PLEASE:
    http://icedotcom.blogspot.com/2008/04/more-of-candace-cabrera-aka-black-from.html

  25. kim says:

    you are so sexy can i +!%_ ou

  26. LaToya says:

    I want a shot at love. How do you sign up. I know I could win her heart… no problem.

  27. tamika says:

    i know that.. that stuff was digusting

  28. tony says:

    I think she is a very hot and very sexy loving women love her lots bubba1956

  29. amanda says:

    tat was disgusting but ur hot tila tequila

  30. monkeygirl47 says:

    pigs $_!_%&`^@#%%_&`#~% yum!! y does she always have a viginas or balls 4 her contestents 2 eat?

  31. monkeygirl47 says:

    tila was a SEXY teacher if she was my teacher i would actually pay attention!!!

  32. nhgmnfo says:

    Ahhhhhhhhhhh asiiii mmasssss como me gusta las )++~~%#_(@&$@`#~#@ ssssssssssssssssss……………

    ahh ahha hhhh ahhhhhaaaaaaa

  33. joe says:

    i love pig @@%)@@*~&&#&_~_((` ssssssss

  34. joe says:

    i need a pig v*gina

  35. niemah says:

    i think that brittany just a fraek

  36. charles says:

    sometimes what seems to be sexy aint, this is just gross.

  37. karlene says:

    were u ever a man

  38. new york says:

    every time your show was on i would always watch it,and you keep geting dumped,and that is so sad but you can go onliene dateing.And you know if he is merried,first listen to his voice and if you hear a yung girl in the backround that says boo boo come and eat,thin hang up.and thats how i do it in my hood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  39. Ashley says:

    ewe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!