Idolville: Top 5 Weak-Ass Moments
American Idol is roaring towards its conclusion (the show clocked its biggest voting numbers last night) and this week the remaining four contestants tried to amp it up to win over the audience. Except that, even with the breadth of the songbook on offer this week (songs from the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame), the two Davids, Jason, and Syesha pretty much gave limp performances. Who fumbled hardest? Hard to say. Let’s count down last night’s top five weakest moments:
5. Steely Dan Salute
The show’s group performances are always an uphill battle, but as the competition wears on, these segments seem to get worse and worse. The fab four tried their hand at Steely Dan’s “Reelin’ in the Years,” and eradicated hopes anyone might have had about the formation of an Idol super-group. The vocals were passable. What killed this thing were the clunky attempts at dancing. You could call it synchronized walking, ‘cept it wasn’t all that synchronized.
4. Simon’s Self-Regard
Two of this week’s phone-in questions were directed at Cowell, and it’s hard to believe neither was a plant: the first wondered why Simon hasn’t been knighted, the second why Simon hasn’t been asked to play James Bond. His hubris—even enhanced for ratings, as it likely is—begs for deflation. Sadly, no one on the show is savvy enough to provide it. But just imagine the racket that would be made if that windbag finally popped!
3. Bo Bice’s “Witness”
Long-haired Bice came precariously close to winning the show’s fourth season, as Ryan reminded us in his intro last night. But after the southern rocker’s performance, the question is not why didn’t he win, but how he got as far as he did. Bice’s brand of deep-fried boogie must have its fans somewhere, but it’s hard to imagine why. Bellowing, growling, and flailing his way through a generic ditty, the Alabama singer seemed like a low-rate Kid Rock—and for me Rock’s rate is already low enough.
2. Answering Basic Questions
As any actual celeb can tell you, only about 30% of a musical career revolves around the writing, recording, and performing of music—the rest is PR opportunities. As such, it’s helpful if fledgling stars can answer easily predictable questions, such as this one, asked of the contestants last night: “What is the hardest challenge you’ve had to overcome?” Syesha passed the buck with “stage fright,” refusing to elaborate; Archuleta giggled senselessly and proclaimed he “didn’t know”; and Jason Castro, in a revelatory moment, went with “uh, dead…of the brain?” Our thoughts exactly. You’ll never catch Madonna, Mariah, or even Kelly Clarkson without a better answer prepared, and if these guys want to join their ranks, they’d better start thinking, quick.
1. Two Words: Jason Castro
A black cloud has hung over Castro since Tuesday night, when his performances were bad enough that Simon advised him to pack his bags. When he and Syesha were paired for the final two last night, the conclusion was kinda obvious. Justice was finally served, and Jason, who has seemed half-hearted for weeks, was finally dispatched. (“You look relieved,” said Ryan, and the singer, with a goofy shrug, conceded that, yes, he was.) Jason was the show’s lost soul, bumbling along with his guitar and a dreadlocked dream. It took a long time for him to be dumped, and his continued presence in the top four underscored how missed some of his more talented, already-dispatched compatriots were: imagine the fight Carly Smithson or Michael Johns would have put up in his place. They didn’t get the chance, but at least next week, we’ll be spared Castro’s half-assed drone.
Tune in next week when Syesha battles the unstoppable force of the Davids—and in all likelihood, loses.
–Matthew Schneier
May 8th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
[...] Vh1 Blog wrote an interesting post today on Idolville: Top 5 Weak-Ass MomentsHere’s a quick excerptIdolville: Top 5 Weak-Ass Moments American Idol is roaring towards its conclusion (the show clocked its biggest voting numbers last night) and this week the remaining four contestants tried to amp it up to win over the audience. Except that, even with the breadth of the songbook on offer this week (songs from the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame), the two Davids, Jason, and Syesha pretty much gave limp performances. Who fumbled hardest? Hard to say. Let’s count down last night’s top five weakest [...]
May 8th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
==========================================
$$MAKE LOTS OF QUICK CASH THE EASY WAY$$
==========================================
Dear Internet User,
This article I’ve written is all about the fact where I earned an ASTOUNDING amount of money in less than a month and I’ve decided to share the secrets behind making big bucks in the Mail Order Business.
So all money seekers, read this carefully.
=========================================
**READING THIS COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE!**
I found this on a bulletin board like this one and decided to try it. A little while back, I was browsing through several newsgroups, just like you are now, and came across an article similar to this that said you could make thousands of dollars within weeks with only an initial investment of $6.00! So I thought, “Yeah right, this must be a scam”, but like most of us, I was curious, so I kept reading. Anyway, it said that you need to send $1.00 to each of the 6 names and address stated in the article. You then place your own name and address in the bottom of the list at #6, and post the article in at least 200 newsgroups. (There are thousands) No catch, that was it. So after thinking it over, and talking to a few people first, I thought about trying it. I figured: “what have I got to lose except 6 stamps and $6.00, right?” Then I invested the measly $6.00. Well GUESS WHAT!!… within 7 days, I started getting money in the mail! I was shocked! I figured it would end soon, but the money just kept coming in. In my first week, I made about $25.00. By the end of the second week I had made a total of over $1,000.00! In the third week I had over $10,000.00 and it’s still growing. This is now my fourth week and I have made just over $42,000.00 and it’s still coming in rapidly. It’s certainly worth $6.00, and 6 stamps, I have spent more than that on the lottery!!
Let me tell you how this works and most importantly, why it works…. Also, make sure you print a copy of this article NOW, so you can get the information off of it as you need it. I promise you that if you follow the directions exactly, that you will start making more money than you thought possible by doing something so easy!
SUGGESTION: Read this entire message carefully! (print it out or download it.) Follow the simple directions and watch the money come in! It’s easy. It’s legal. And, your investment is only $6.00 (Plus postage).
IMPORTANT: This is not a rip-off; it is not indecent; it is not illegal; and it is virtually no risk - it really works!!!! If all of the following instructions are adhered to, you will receive extraordinary dividends.
PLEASE NOTE: Please follow these directions EXACTLY, and $50,000 or more can be yours in 20 to 60 days. This program remains successful because of the honesty and integrity of the participants. Please continue it’s success by carefully adhering to the instructions. You will now become part of the Mail Order business. In this business your product is not solid and tangible, it’s a service. You are in the business of developing Mailing Lists. Many large corporations are happy to pay big bucks for quality lists. However, the money made from the mailing lists is secondary to the income which is made from people like you and me asking to be included in that list.
==========================================
–>HERE ARE 4 EASY STEPS TO GET STARTEDDIRECTIONS FOR HOW TO POST TO NEWSGROUPS
May 8th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
STEP 1: Get 6 separate pieces of paper and write the following on each piece of paper “PLEASE PUT ME ON YOUR MAILING LIST.” Now get 6 US $1.00 bills and place ONE inside EACH of the 6 pieces of paper so the bill will not be seen through the envelope ( Please make sure that the bill wouldn’t be noticed in the envelope to prevent thievery). Send out US $ DOLLAR, so it would be more acceptable. STEP 2: Next, place one paper in each of the 6 envelopes and seal them properly. You should now have 6 sealed envelopes, each with a piece of paper stating the phrase, “PLEASE PUT ME ON YOUR MAILING LIST.”, your name and address, and a $1.00 bill. What you are doing is creating a service. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY LEGAL! You are requesting for a legitimate service and you are paying for it! Like most of us, I was a little skeptical and a little worried about the legal aspects of it all. So I checked it out with the U.S. Post Office (1-800-725-2161) and they confirmed that it is indeed legal! Mail the US$6.00 to the following addresses:
1) Almeric Battiste
P.O. Box 450035
Kissimmee, Florida USA 34745
2) Phonexay Khounvongsa
5003 Lakecrest Dr.
Shawnee, KS, USA 66218
3) Tamara Ortiz
2471 Newsom Rd.
Bellville, TX. USA 77418
4) Love Carter
#2 Jericho St.,
Victoriaville Homes, Antipolo City,
Philippines, 1870
5) Jim Miller
9 High St Apt 2
Waterloo Ontario Canada N2L 3X4
6) m. mann
33 cherry st. #a
Plymouth ma, 02360 STEP 3: Now take the #1 name off the list that you see above, move the other names up (6 becomes 5, 5 becomes 4, etc…) and add YOUR Name as number 6 on the list. STEP 4: Copy this article. Change anything you need to, but try to keep this article as close to original as possible. Now, post your amended article to at least 200 newsgroups. (I think there are close to 2.4million groups) All you need is 200, but remember, the more you post, the more money you make! This is perfectly legal! If you have any doubts, refer to )*! le 18, Section 1302 and 1341, US Postal and Lottery Laws or )*! le 18, Section 3005 in the US code, also in the code of Federal regulations, Volume 16, Sections 255 and 436, which states; “a product or service must be exchanged for money received.” The simple note in the letter, “PLEASE PUT ME ON YOUR MAILING LIST”, makes it legal because you are paying for exchange of a service, (adding the purchasers name to his mailing list) for a $1.00 fee.IMPORTANT: Keep a copy of these steps for yourself and, whenever you need money, you can use it again, and again. PLEASE REMEMBER that this program remains successful because of the honesty and integrity of the participants and by their carefully adhering to the directions. Look at it this way. If you are of integrity, the program will continue and the money that so many others have received will come your way. NOTE: You may want to retain every name and address sent to you, either on a computer or hard copy and keep the notes people send you. This VERIFIES that you are truly providing a service. (Also, it might be a good idea to wrap the $1 bill in dark paper to reduce the risk of mail theft.) So, as each post is downloaded and the directions carefully followed, six members will be reimbursed for their participation as a List Developer with one dollar each. Your name will move up the list geometrically so that when your name reaches the #1 position you will be receiving thousands of dollars in CASH!!! What an opportunity for only $6.00 ($1.00 for each of the first six people listed above) Send it now, add your own name to the list and you’re in business!DIRECTIONS FOR HOW TO POST TO NEWSGROUPS Step 1) You do not need to re-type this entire letter to do your own posting. Simply put your mouse cursor at the beginning of this letter, click and drag your cursor to the bottom of this document, right click and select ‘copy’ from the edit menu. This will copy the entire letter into the computer’s memory. Step 2) Open a blank ‘notepad’ file and place your mouse cursor at the top of the blank page. Right click and from the ‘edit’ menu select ‘paste’. This will paste a copy of the letter into notepad so that you can add your name and postal address to the list. Step 3) Save your new notepad file as a .txt file. If you want to do your postings in different settings, you’ll always have this file to go back to. Step 4) Use Netscape or Internet explorer and try searching for various newsgroups (on-line forums, message boards, chat sites, discussions.) Step 5) Visit these message boards and post this article as a new message by highlighting the text of this letter and selecting paste from the edit menu. Fill in the Subject, this will be the header that everyone sees as they scroll through the list of postings in a particular group, click the “post” message button. You’re done with your first one! Congratulations…THAT’S IT! All you have to do is jump to different newsgroups and post away, after you get the hang of it, it will take about a minute for each newsgroup! **REMEMBER, THE MORE NEWSGROUPS YOU POST IN, THE MORE MONEY YOU WILL MAKE!! BUT YOU HAVE TO POST A MINIMUM OF 200** That’s it! You will begin receiving money from around the world within days! You may eventually want to rent a P.O.Box due to the large amount of mail you will receive. If you wish to stay anonymous, you can invent a name to use, as long as the postman will deliver it. **JUST MAKE SURE ALL THE ADDRESSES ARE CORRECT.**
Now the WHY part; Out of 200 postings, say I receive only 5 replies (a very low example). So then I made $5.00 with my name at #6 on the letter. Now, each of the 5 persons who just sent me $1.00 make the MINIMUM 200 postings, each with my name at #5 and only 5 persons respond to each of the original 5, that is another $25.00 for me, now those 25 each make 200 MINIMUM posts with my name at #4 and only 5 replies each, I will bring in an additional $125.00! Now, those 125 persons turn around and post the MINIMUM 200 with my name at #3 and only receive 5 replies each, I will make an additional $626.00! OK, now here is the fun part, each of those 625 persons post a MINIMUM 200 letters with my name at #2 and they each only receive 5 replies, that just made me $3,125.00!!! Those 3,125 persons will all deliver this message to 200 newsgroups with my name at #1 and if still ONLY 5 persons per 200 newsgroups react I will receive $15,625,00! With an original investment of only $6.00! AMAZING! When your name is no longer on the list, you just take the latest posting in the newsgroups, and send out another $6.00 to names on the list, putting your name at number 6 again. And start posting again. The thing to remember is: do you realize that thousands of people all over the world are joining the internet and reading these articles everyday?, JUST LIKE YOU are now!! So, can you afford $6.00 and see if it really works?? I think so… People have said, “what if the plan is played out and no one sends you the money? So what! What are the chances of that happening when there are tons of new honest users and new honest people who are joining the internet and newsgroups everyday and are willing to give it a try? Estimates are at 20,000 to 50,000 new users, every day, with thousands of those joining the actual internet!!! REMEMBER, PLAY FAIRLY AND HONESTLY AND THIS WILL WORK FOR YOU!!!
GOOD LUCK to all and please play fairly and reap the huge rewards from this, which is tons of extra CASH.
By the way, please DON’T try to deceive people by posting the messages with your name in the list and not sending the CASH to the rest of the people already on the list, you will NOT get any. This is the fairest and most honest way I have ever seen to share the wealth of the world without costing anything but our time!!! You also may want to buy mailing and e-mail lists for future cash. Make sure you print this article out RIGHT NOW! Also, try to keep a list of everyone that sends you CASH and always keep an eye on the newsgroups to make sure everyone is playing fairly. Remember, HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY.
IMPORTANT: If you’re not interested to my article, (don’t want instant cash?), please pass this message to anyone who wishes quick money. Thank you so much.
May 8th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
hey you 2 this isnt an advertising spot,, this is about idol….
May 8th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
She is so beautiful. Her blog and photos were found at dating site —”W e a l t h y l o v I n g .c o m ” —- last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is seeking on that site.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
OMG——i really dont think this is tha place for a xtrmly long letter like tose above me . seriously you guys this is for american idol. i just love all the ppl left in the show & i hope that they all get a deal with someone. i love both the davids!!!!!!!!!!!!!