Tila Tequila 2: Assless Chaps, Lesbian Orgies and Headbutts (Ep. 4 recap)
Here are the top five most ridiculous moments of Episode 4, listed in chronological order from first to last.
1. Bull-Riding Contest Prize? Tila’s Ass!
Tila Tequila has dressed up as a naughty school teacher, a stripper and an angel. In episode 4, she morphed into a cowgirl by wearing a cowboy hat, a bra and assless leather chaps. The occasion (or excuse for the getup) was the first of what will surely become an annual mechanical bull-riding contest for pumped-up frat boys and stripper-esque lesbians on seasons of Tila Tequila to come. But if Tila didn’t look so hot, and if the prize weren’t spending an evening with her exposed ass, then this challenge would have been boring beyond belief.
2. Tila’s Pool Party Turns Into a Lesbian Orgy
Michelle brilliantly summed up the contestants’ reaction to Tila’s barely-there bikini at a pool party with the following analogy: “That Ass is like dangling a steak in front of a dog’s face.” This is possibly the smartest, most nuanced statement that has ever been uttered on reality TV. In fact, academics could have a field day deconstructing its layers of meaning. First, there’s the accurate insinuation that Tila’s suitors are like dogs: Both hump in public, pass gas without shame (Chad), and fight when it comes time to mate. But there’s also the recognition that a single steak that is thrown in the middle of a pack of dogs will inevitably lead to a messy situation. After the girls flashed their breasts, wiggled their asses, and had an orgy in the pool, it became clear that Tila was a piece of meat surrounded by hungry dogs.
3. CREEPY KYLE
Kyle blew his “alone time” with Tila by beginning their conversation by asking if she’d ever had sex on a swing. Then he blurted out, apropos of nothing, “I lost my virginity to an Asian girl!” and “I love morning sex!” Even worse, he menacingly interrupted a conversation between Tila and Lisa with a penetrating, stalker-like stare that would have frightened Jeffrey Dahmer.
4. HOUSE MATES GET HYSTERICAL AS TILA CUTS GEORGE
It was wise for Tila to send home creepy Kyle, but she should have thought twice about eliminating George for being too nice — especially when she chose instead to keep a sycophant (Bo) an airhead (Samantha “Glitter”) and two ugly sacks of narcissistic testosterone (Jay and Chad). The house mates that wept (Sirbrina, Samantha and Scotty) upon George’s departure showed that he was well-liked. “Please be true to me,” said Tila to the remaining contestants. “Don’t make me regret sending George home.” But regret she would. (Read item #5.)
5. THE CHAD VS. JAY THROW-DOWN
The race to eat the Tila steak escalated after episode 4’s elimination. The ridiculousness began with Jay and Chad, self-proclaimed “bro-dogs,” exchanging chest-thumping insults with Bo. Included in this name-calling fest were threats like “I will inflict pain” and “I will break your face” and “stop being such a bitch.” Chad, who probably wouldn’t have much to lose if he killed someone, surprised Bo with a nasty headbutt, at which point the television screen cut to black with the words: “TO BE CONTINUED.” Is MTV splitting up a fight into two episodes in a lame attempt to boost TV ratings? Probably. Will it work? We’ll see.
May 14th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy tila your a HOTyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy love ya much
May 14th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
well tila i think u should pick sibrina shes sssssssssooooooo Hot and u need a girl in ur life
May 14th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
i think it’s interesting how tila gets to visit all of the parents of the contestants but they don’t meet her parents…..
May 14th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I love the expressions Chad and Jay are making when Chad is about to head-butt Bo. Chad has this angry Hulk face on ready to hit Bo. IT’S CLOBBERING TIME!!!!!!!!! And then there’s Jay with a look that says “You messed with my boy— I mean friend… Bad move.” BUT THE BAD MOVE WAS MADE WHEN SHE DIDN’T ELIMINATE THEM. GOOD LUCK. YOU’RE GONNA NEED IT.
May 14th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
she’s a ^&_+(
May 14th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Thank God for people like Chad who knows a thing or two about politics those dumb ignorant *&@$ s, stupid Kristy called him Ignorant she sounded so blind she was like talkin bout union workers and stuff hes ignorant thanks Chad you said it right your my favorite
May 15th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
tila i think u should pick a girl this time cuz it seems like thats who you interested in da most. but i love your show and you are a hotty an if i was gay i would be at you asap
May 15th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
hi tila tequila you shouldn’t have sent george home but if i was there you wouldn’t have sent me home and i think you are really hot but i’m not gay and i a’m your biggest fan i watch your show everyday it comes on .and i’m only 9 years old. but i still think you are hot, sexyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
May 17th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
I absolutely cannot believe ANYone is watching this grotesque broadcast. I’ve never watched it, but I viewed a clip herein. Normally, I’m not speechless, but what can anyone say about this web-cam crap? Some horny teen-agers (new concept?) with a female who proclaim she’ll play nude games with ANYone?
Um, I think the concept of sex is something EVERY living creature understands. Touch feels good. If people are THIS desperate for intimate touch, undressing with TT is NOT going to bring a sense of pleasure, overall.
This era of watching people look for SEX play-things, too shall pass. This webcam broadcast is just dumb. How embarrassing for the participants’ family and friends. The pursuit of just sex should be done privately. Eroticism and sensuality have their place in the public domain… but to stand in front of a camera and demonstrate that you like to lick and be licked, is dirty gross ick; it’s shameful.
Why do exhibitionists think that they are special in any way? Why does anyone think TT is special in any way? After seeing her on a talk show, and in these video clips, she displays ONLY, that the physical body she was born with has female markers.
VH1 - please, bury this.
May 17th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
I think tila is so stupid cause she is confuse and don’t know what she want’s that’s a shame what happen to Bobby he left her &_` she look dumb she is going to catch something had sex with woman and man Lesbian’s are so nasty Tila get a life
May 17th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
she’s pathetic……..
May 18th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Has Tila even talked to Scotty yet? I don’t think she even knows he’s there. Has Scotty even spoke to George in this show? Why would he care if he’s going home? And I hope when George gets back, she eliminates him immediately. He’s so shallow and naive that he actually thought he had a chance. And if you can’t get a chance with Tila it’s pretty bad.
May 20th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
God, I hope Tila picks a girl this season…because all of the men (with the exception of Scott) remaining appear to be royal douchebags. Come to think of it, I guess it doesn’t matter anyway, since Tila is really doing this show for money, and won’t stay with the person she does choose. But, please, at least make us bisexuals look good for a change by actually picking someone likeable before you kick them to the curb.
May 21st, 2008 at 11:51 am
Nice to see that a Vietnamese prostitute can become a star
May 21st, 2008 at 5:10 pm
what is up chad me and my bestfriend think your so hot and i wish you were still on telias show i cried when the people came to take you away because i like you alot
amber
cierra
May 21st, 2008 at 11:52 pm
i got so sick of people saying “oh, poor bo” that @@! hole had it comin to him. chad walked away and them bo followed him. dumbass. i’m so pissed that chad’s leavin, but he kicked the `$@_ out of bo and it was awesome! also, i agree with jay. it’s bullshit that that &++%$ george is back. he’s such a !$)
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:25 am
oH `!+( DaT `!+( iS CRaZy
BoUt WaT HApP3Nd WiT CHaD aN Bo!!!!
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:27 pm
sibrina was hot
May 26th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Pick a girl !!!
June 1st, 2008 at 1:00 pm
I think you should pick lisa…..she might be a bad &@# but she still feels for you…and you need to have a woman this time…they are a better choice for you.
June 3rd, 2008 at 12:29 pm
HEI TILA WHAT IS YOUR RACE CAN YOU LET US KNOW TONIGHT YOU ARE PRETTY BUT IT IS YOUR CHOICE WHO YOU WANT TO PICK I WISH I WAS HOT LIKE THAT BUT IAM PLEASE FOR WHAT IAM HOT TO BUT THANKS IAM NOT LEASBEAN LOL. PEACE .
June 4th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
tla you are real ^@!@~ you reality is nasty verey, very nasty oh my good you not terminated and who are you and you very nedd tila who are you? im no undertand you what good for give you
June 6th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
tila i love your show and you are soooo sexy i was on your show yu would have to pick me to be you gurl muaaah halla at ya baby!! ps. pick a girl this time please!!!
June 26th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Tila I think u should pick a girl this time because you look really happy with them, and if I was gay I would totally date you, but i’m only 13 so good luck love ya much!!!!!!!!!!
June 29th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Tila i am 12 and i just found out that i am bysexual. And i LOVE it. And i love you. you are Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo SEXY <3
July 9th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
hey i love that tv show tila my girl she is a very nice person somebody i will like to hang out with she f again but at lease she tryed to find the rigght one i will allways be her biggest fan no matter what my girl for ever
July 29th, 2008 at 2:30 am
I know that I might be on the wrong episode;but i do watch them all and I think the whole thing is “shitty”. Come on people get a life ! This )+#_~!@(*$^`*&&^ is ridiculious. I am lonely but i would never depend on reality “tv” to find love. Those people are just looking for an oppourtunity to advance. I never intended to be long but I am “bi” and I learned that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.
August 13th, 2008 at 8:40 am
TILA YOU ARE SO HOT.AND I WANNA MAKE SEX WITH YOU.I LOVE YOU.YOU ARE SO SEXY.