Cruise-bots Ready to Ruin Big Apple



Let me be the first to say “NO THANK YOU” to the news that Katie Holmes and her master Tom Cruise will be moving to New York City so that Katie can star in the Broadway play All My Sons. Surely she’s convinced this will make her a “serious actress” – something Mad Money came so close to accomplishing, natch – but what the Cruises don’t really get is that their presence will make our fair city seriously suck. Our city is already packed with crazies stomping around in Burberry trenches and giant sunglasses. And spoiled toddlers? Yeah, we’ve got those too. Unless Tom can use his super powers to ensure that every NYC resident can easily get a cab at 5PM on a Wednesday, we’ve got no use for him here. Bah! [People]

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