Tila Tequila 2: Chad Destroys Bo’s Face, Tila Has a Lesbian Spat (Ep. 5 Recap)

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Here are the most ridiculous moments of Episode 5.

CHAD’S VIOLENT OUTBURST, ROUND II

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After Chad attacked Bo’s face, splitting his gum (and teeth) in half, he bumped chests and high-fived his “brodog” Jay, who instigated the fight in the first place. “That’s how we rep in Detroit, baby!” Chad shouted. Did he mean that people in the Motor City will sucker headbutt and punch you when you don’t expect it? The way Chad was celebrating his manhood, you would think that he had just knocked Bo out. But Bo was still standing and lucid after the cheap shots. Hopefully, the security that escorted Chad out of the house delivered him straight to a state mental hospital, because he clearly needs pills and electric shock therapy.

BO’S IN THE HOSPITAL! IT’S PARTY TIME!

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Tila Tequila’s bowing, fawning minions were distraught over the violent outburst that rocked the house. But after Tila brought back much-loved (but “too nice”) George from the purgatory of elimination, the house drowned it’s sorrows in booze, stripper poles and some good old fashion simulated humping. Isn’t that what we all do after a bad day?

THE RIDICULOUSLY BORING “BUBBLE BATH BURNOUT” CHALLENGE

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A Shot at Love 2 is seeming more like a vehicle to display Tila’s sex appeal in a variety of occupational outfits than it is a real search for love. This week, Tila attempted to dress up like a NASCAR judge. But with hoochie mama shorts, pigtails and her cleavage popping out of a low cut, checkered top, she looked more like a member of a WWF mud wrestling act. The excuse for this week’s getup was a challenge called “Bubble Bath Burnout,” in which Tila’s suitors were paired up into teams of two. One member of each team had to steer a bathtub on wheels (blindfolded, no less!) while the other pushed the tub from behind while roller skating. “I need to make sure that you can take directions in the dark,” said Tila. The only thing ridiculous about this challenge is that it was ridiculously boring. Was this a segment of Baby Einstein? For those of you who fell asleep or decided to mute the TV so that you could do your laundry, Lisa and Brittany won the challenge and earned alone time with Tila.

HIGH-DRAMA LESBIAN SPAT

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You don’t call Tila fake in her own house! Not even if that house belongs to MTV and Tila is only living in it, for, like, a week. Yet this is exactly what Lisa did earlier in the episode. Her punishment? She was forced to watch a bikini-clad Tila and Brittany as their bodies were rubbed down with oil by a professional masseuse. After the massage, Tila called Lisa on her misstep: “I feel like an idiot now because I connected with you and you stabbed me in the back.” Lisa responded that she was “over it” and then stormed away. Tila, crying, chased after Lisa, and the two had a yelling match that was broken up when Lisa muscled her way towards Tila’s mouth and planted an unexpected, juicy kiss. When Lisa withdrew from the kiss, she said: “I hate you.” Tila replied that she hated Lisa, too. If only Chad and Bo had fought like lesbians!

Eliminated this week: Michelle and the beautiful Sirbrina.

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